Wait! 3 Reasons to Hold Off on Getting Engaged on Valentine's Day

It's easy with red paper heart decorations popping up in grocery stores and window displays at the mall to start thinking about popping the question. But before you invest in a ring or practice taking a knee, there are a few things to consider.

Why Are You Asking?

Is it because you can see yourself together for many years to come? Can you imagine investing in a house, two cars, a family and eventually a retirement home . . . together? Or are you feeling a bit of pressure from the lover's holiday? Family? Your significant other? If you are considering proposing for any other reason than the want to start a life with them, can it. It will save you heartache in the long run. Because it's the 14th is never a good reason.

Is It Love or Settling?

Surprisingly, many people fall into the trap of committing to someone because "they will do." Maybe they are tired of dating. Perhaps a person believes this is as good as it is going to get for them in the love department (usually a self-esteem issue). Either way, many people find themselves "settling" for what they believe is the best they can get. Times have changed. We are no longer fishing for a mate in our backyard ponds. With the Internet and openness to move, the dating pool is huge. If you aren't gaga over the guy or gal in your life, reel in the relationship and recast your line. You (and the other person) will be happier for it.

Go For Broke -- Just Not on Valentine's Day

I know. I know. It's a day of romance. Florist, card shops and chocolatiers love it. If you want to make an impression on your significant other, don't follow the recipe of doing the deed on a commercial holiday. Make it special for the two of you. Take the proposal up a notch but avoiding the cliche of doing it on February 14th. Create a special day that is just for the two of you.

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Valentines Day – Past and Present

Just 3 days to go until the most romantic day of the year! As a matchmaker I thought it might be interesting and fun to look back at the history of this foundation of our Romantic traditions.

Valentines day is named after St Valentine…but there were actually a few who went by this name. The first was Valentine of Terni, a Bishop who was martyred during the reign of Emperor Aurelian in AD 197. The second and more revered was Valentine of Rome, who was also martyred in AD 269. I feel somewhat more connected to him, having visited Santa Maria in Cosmedia in Rome where his skull is kept, adorned by a flower.

I don’t know about you, but so far it seems like a huge leap from martyrdom to the traditions related to love and romance of today’s Valentines Day.

So here is the chronology, as I see it. Valentine of Rome was a Priest, dedicated to his work, providing support and comfort to early Christians by providing holy sacraments to them, including marriage. At that time, most Roman soldiers were prohibited from marriage, as it might distract their devotion to war. So Valentine of Rome would cut hearts out of parchment, and give them to his followers as a sign of love.

The evening before his execution, Valentine wrote the first Valentine Card…from himself, to the daughter of his Jailor. She had been blind, but had regained her sight, ostensibly as a result of prayers and hope.

But there was nothing tremendously romantic for many hundreds of years, until in far away England in 1382, a medieval Poet named Geoffrey Chaucer wrote the following in his book, Parlement of Foules:

“For this was seynt Volantynys day Whan euery biyrd comyth there to chese his make”. (“For this was on Saint Valentine’s Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate). Chaucer wrote this to honour the 1^st anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia. And as a footnote, here’s a fact today’s parents will cringe at - they were ultimately married at only 15 years of age!

But why February 14^th? Well, as most things from history, it may trace to a mix of old traditions and nature. The Ancient Romans celebrated a right of fertility each year between February 13-15. And separately, in Chaucer’s England, Feb 14 was a prime season for Birds to mate. Throw all of this together, and what we have is a the most romantic of days, named after a martyred Saint who began the practice of cutting out hearts from early versions of paper. A romantic poem celebrating mating season and a royal engagement, the Roman God of Love, Cupid, and 650 years of social and commercial embellishment…and there you have it. Valentines Day 2013.

But for most of us, the bigger question looking ahead is what to make of Valentines Day?

As a matchmaker, I can weigh in with some sage advice.

If you are in a relationship, or married:

• ·      Remember it!
• ·      Plan something fun and romantic.
• ·      Take the time to enjoy the day with the one you love.
• ·      Women do love flowers…and a special dinner.
• ·      And Men seem to be very happy with a card and a kiss like you mean it!

And, if you are single…don’t despair! Yes, this may seem like one of those awful days that you just need to survive. Restaurants filled with happy couples, as you shuffle off to the Fitness Club. But, remember, love could be right around the next corner for you. So take the time to have a look. Say hello to an attractive stranger in your coffee shop.  And just maybe Saint Valentine, or even Cupid may be watching. And if that doesn’t work, give me a call. Matchmakers can be just as good as Cupid…plus we take care of all the details and logistics…even Cupid doesn’t do that!

Happy Valentines!

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Times Colonist: Single Best Reason For Valentine's Day

Are modern lovers overlooking the single best reason for Valentine's Day? An article by Times Colonist reporter Richard Watts says "It's one thing to say "I love you" with a valentine. But it can be powerfully romantic to use Valentine's Day to say "I am interested in you" or "I am still interested in you.""

In this day and age when online courtship has become a popular way to find one's match, technology has removed a lot of the person-to-person connection.

However, Watts' article states that "introductions through friends still remains the largest way couples meet. Fully 28% of couples, the biggest single category, report being introduced through friends."  Watts also stated that "meetings in bars and restaurants are a start for more couples than the Internet, with about 23 per cent."

This reinforces the It's Just Lunch belief that real chemistry happens face-to-face. 
"You can chat back and forth online," said Jacquie Brownridge, managing director of Just Lunch, a 20- introductory service operating in Victoria, Vancouver and Toronto, in the article.

"But when you actually sit down across from somebody at a table, look them in the eye and you have a conversation, see their body language, you either connect or you don't," said Brownridge in the article.

Looking to connect with your partner this Valentine's Day?  Make an investment in your significant other and your relationship by selecting a gift or activity you both can enjoy.  


"It would be nice if we did this all day and every day, but at least there is Valentine's Day that tells you to stop, smell the roses and let the other person know you appreciate them," Brownridge said in the article.

Read the entire article. 

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Glamour Mag Reveals Why Valentine's Day is Not Just For Ladies

Based upon an It's Just Lunch survey debunking Valentine's Day myths released earlier this month, Glamour magazine has reveals why the "Hallmark Holiday is more mutual than you might think."

The It's Just Lunch surveyed over 750 single men and women about Valentine's Day.  While many singles may view the days as "couples only" or even disparage it as a "Hallmark holiday," the survey suggested that many see the 14th as a day to try something new or even expand one's dating boundaries.

The article states that "rather than the dude taking it upon himself to plan the special day, 54% believe that the couple should plan the date together."

The article went on to highlight  that "a larger percentage of women said the best gift would be a certificate for an activity that both parties can enjoy together."

While going out is popular, one date idea is to cook the Valentine's Day meal together.
 
It's Just Lunch Toronto director Jacquie Brownridge suggests making a dish from a favorite vacation destination, homemade pizzas where you combined each of your favorite toppings or a recipe that reminds you of one of the first restaurants you visited.

Use the shared time in the kitchen to turn up the heat in your relationship. This is the time for you to interact on a personal level with your partner and even flirt a bit.   Be a good listener, make meaningful eye contact, smile, laugh, touch your partner and enjoy your time with your other half.

So, what are your plans for Valentine's Day?

Read the full article.

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IJL Survey Reveals Valentine's Day Pitfalls

Who Plans the Date? What’s the Ideal Gift? Men and Women Disagree

If you’re a man who intends to arrange your Valentine’s Day festivities without consulting your date, you might want to change your plans, according to a new survey by It’s Just Lunch. And if you’re one of the rare guys who want to leave the whole thing up to your girlfriend, that’s not a good move either.

When the specialty dating service asked over 750 singles, “Who’s supposed to plan Valentine’s Day?”:

• 56% of women thought it should be the couple together while 42% picked “the guy”.
• For men, 48% said “the guy” and “the couple together” was a close second at 47%

But women clearly don’t want to plan February 14th on their own: About half a percent thought that “the girl” should make Valentine’s Day plans, which may come as a surprise to the 5% of men who chose that answer.

“Most people aren’t mind-readers,” says Jacquie Brownridge, spokesperson for It’s Just Lunch and director of the Toronto office. “Talk about the holiday before you decide who plans the date.”

There were also significant gaps between the sexes when it comes to “the best Valentine’s gift.”The top answer for women, chosen by 38%, was a “gift certificate for an activity we can do together.” Only 21% of men selected that answer.   Men’s top gift ideas were flowers, chosen by 43% of men, but only 31% of women.

“Togetherness seems to be the key for most women, both in planning the holiday and with regard to the gift they receive,” says Brownridge. “Men just need to be smart enough to choose something their dates enjoy as much or even more than they do.”

It’s Just Lunch is a personalized dating service for busy professionals. The company has coordinated over two million dates for clients since opening in 1991. IJL minimizes the stress and maximizes the efficiency of dating by sending people on casual, no-pressure dates over lunch, brunch or drinks after work. IJL’s team of dating specialists, not a computer, performs the matchmaking.   The company has over 150 locations in the US, Canada and internationally.

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Skip Logging On & Log Some Quality Time

It's Just Lunch helps busy professionals make the most of their mid-day breaks, according to "The Rules of Engagement" article in the February 2012 Canada edition of Reader's Digest.  "The pros take care of the compatibility question, scheduling and restaurant reservations; you just show up with an appetite and an open mind," the article said about the face-to-face value of It's Just Lunch's Canada offices.

Right now is the best time to try something new.  According to a recent survey conducted by It's Just Lunch, many singles see Februrary 14th as a day to try something new or even expand beyond one's dating boundaries.  Over 83% of respondents said they would accept a first date request if it falls on Valentine's Day,and over 70% said they would be open to being set up on a blind date.

When it comes to first dates, It's Just Lunch is the one to count on to get the ball rolling.  Over the past 20 years, we have helped thousands of busy professionals in over 100 locations worldwide find a fresh approach to dating. 

So, what do our clients have in common? They have made a decision to change their approach to dating and made a simple phone call.   Why not be one of them?  Call It's Just Lunch today at 604-633-9980 (Vancouver and Victoria) or 416-703-3900 (Toronto) and start dating tomorrow.

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It’s Just Lunch Dating Survey Debunks Valentine’s Day Myths

A recent research questionnaire by It’s Just Lunch revealed a number of interesting trends on dating preferences and expectations for single men and women on Valentine’s Day.
It’s Just Lunch surveyed 627 men and women on a range of topics from gift-giving and date planning to first dates and blind dates. While people may see Valentine’s Day as “couples only” holiday or even disparage it as a “Hallmark holiday,” the survey suggested that many singles see February 14^th as a day to try something new or even expand beyond one’s dating boundaries.

“Our ability to be interconnected, whether it’s through social media, the Internet, or even through a matchmaking service allows men and women to gain a better understanding of what the opposite sex other looks for,” said Irene LaCota, a spokesperson for It’s Just Lunch. “Our research through this survey aligned with these trends.”

Over 83% of respondents said they would accept a first date request even if it falls on Valentine’s Day, and over 70% said they would be open to being set up on a blind date.  Even though many respondents feel that date-planning responsibility still lies with men, a majority (54%) believes that a couple should plan the date together.

Flowers remain a Valentine’s Day staple, with almost 38% of respondents saying a bouquet is the perfect gift. However, with social deals and online gift certificates becoming more popular over the past few years, almost 33% of men and women said a gift for an activity that a couple can do together is rising in popular. What’s out in 2012? Chocolate, with a meager 7% of respondents saying it’s an excellent gift idea.

While answers from both men and women aligned with each other, one idea differed: 57% of men said they do not feel pressure to find a date for Valentine’s Day, but 52% of women said they do feel pressure to either date or be dating on Valentine’s Day.

How are you spending your Valentine's Day?  Post your comments on our Facebook page.

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