Warming Things Up on the Second Date Can Impact Your Date's Perceptions

Ok. We’ve all been there. Fighting off the first date jitters can be quite a job.

 A call to the best friend for support, an emergency chat with your therapist (or the first available neighbor at the mailbox) and possibly even a one-sided conversation with your furry pet.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SECOND DATE?

Those first date jitters grew into real anticipation in the past few days and now, expectations of another great time are running high. And here comes the mental hamster wheel:    “What if tonight isn’t as good as last time?” “Were they really that attractive or was it just really excellent lighting?” “What if I LOVE tonight and they decide they don’t want to date anymore?”

Wow! First off,  breathe! The first date ice has been broken and it sounds like the two of you are interested enough in each other for a second date. Remember, dating is just about getting to know some better. That's it.

Second, you have a date to get ready for, so here's a little insight into human perceptions courtesy of Dr. Amy Muise.  In order to keep things going well, you need to warm things up . . . literally.  Research has been done that proves that physical warmth impacts perception of a person’s physiological warmth. What? No really.

Muise, a social psychologist, revealed a study that showed offering a hot cup of coffee as opposed to an iced-coffee to someone, positively influenced the opinion of the receiver of the beverage...the person who was offered something warm (soup, a beverage, whatever) rated the person who offered the warmth as more "friendly" and "trustworthy" as opposed to the participants who were offered something cold. All good opinions, especially for a second date.

So, the lesson? When it’s time to order...BRING ON THE HEAT! Maybe opt for teriyaki instead of sushi, coffee instead of iced tea, and you’ll have a better chance of securing that third date!

*http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2011/8/9/how-to-warm-things-up-on-your-next-date.html

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Rejection, Sex, and Love

Take a moment and think back ten years ago to 2001. While cell phones were starting to skyrocket in popularity, not many people had the ability to check email or text on a minute-by-minute basis. That’s how far we’ve come in terms of inter-connectivity. In fact, the term “hyper-connectivity” tells a lot about our personal lives, and that includes dating. Bottom line: times have changed and our latest It’s Just Lunch dating myth survey results speak to just that.

Make the Call
Even though as a society we’re hyper-connected, ironically, it’s also easier to avoid direct contact. Whether it’s email, text, Facebook, or even through a tricky iPhone app, you don’t have to necessarily see someone you don’t want to see. However, just because we’ve outsourced our communication to gadgets, doesn’t mean we have to set aside politeness. Only 15% of both men and women said they would check email if they were bored on a date or didn’t feel like their date was a match.  Even more telling was how men and women deal with rejection. About one in three women would text or email a person to turn them down. Men seemed more likely to call, with one in four preferring a phone call as opposed to a text or email.

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