It Really Does Take Two to Tango!

Some singles have a hard time deciphering whether or not their date is genuinely interested in them. People express themselves differently depending on their personality temperament or even past experiences. In fact, it's not at all uncommon for some singles to mistake attention for affection.

The key to finding out if someone is interested in you as a friend, or possibly more, is through the act of reciprocity. Think about this way. Most people are afraid of rejection, regardless if you're a man or a woman. It really doesn't matter who makes the first move, just as someone as long as someone is making a move to begin with. This gives the other person a chance to respond to the move with further encouragements or a move of his or her own.

For example, simply making eye contact with someone may not be enough to indicate interest, but if you start a conversation with someone, you can gauge their level of interest based on the response. If the person continues to engage with, that person is interested in continuing the conversations until that interest escalates or wanes. However, if the person isn't really engaging with you and is responding with simple, one-word answers, then that person just isn't interested enough to reciprocate.

The common expression "it takes two to tango" has never been more true than in dating and relationships. It's a wonderful dance of give and take to a song that never stops. The next time you meet someone with romantic potential, put out a few feelers in the form of playful comments or potential opportunities to hang out in the future and see if the response you get is favorable or revealing in other ways. 

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Valentines Day – Past and Present

Just 3 days to go until the most romantic day of the year! As a matchmaker I thought it might be interesting and fun to look back at the history of this foundation of our Romantic traditions.

Valentines day is named after St Valentine…but there were actually a few who went by this name. The first was Valentine of Terni, a Bishop who was martyred during the reign of Emperor Aurelian in AD 197. The second and more revered was Valentine of Rome, who was also martyred in AD 269. I feel somewhat more connected to him, having visited Santa Maria in Cosmedia in Rome where his skull is kept, adorned by a flower.

I don’t know about you, but so far it seems like a huge leap from martyrdom to the traditions related to love and romance of today’s Valentines Day.

So here is the chronology, as I see it. Valentine of Rome was a Priest, dedicated to his work, providing support and comfort to early Christians by providing holy sacraments to them, including marriage. At that time, most Roman soldiers were prohibited from marriage, as it might distract their devotion to war. So Valentine of Rome would cut hearts out of parchment, and give them to his followers as a sign of love.

The evening before his execution, Valentine wrote the first Valentine Card…from himself, to the daughter of his Jailor. She had been blind, but had regained her sight, ostensibly as a result of prayers and hope.

But there was nothing tremendously romantic for many hundreds of years, until in far away England in 1382, a medieval Poet named Geoffrey Chaucer wrote the following in his book, Parlement of Foules:

“For this was seynt Volantynys day Whan euery biyrd comyth there to chese his make”. (“For this was on Saint Valentine’s Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate). Chaucer wrote this to honour the 1^st anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia. And as a footnote, here’s a fact today’s parents will cringe at - they were ultimately married at only 15 years of age!

But why February 14^th? Well, as most things from history, it may trace to a mix of old traditions and nature. The Ancient Romans celebrated a right of fertility each year between February 13-15. And separately, in Chaucer’s England, Feb 14 was a prime season for Birds to mate. Throw all of this together, and what we have is a the most romantic of days, named after a martyred Saint who began the practice of cutting out hearts from early versions of paper. A romantic poem celebrating mating season and a royal engagement, the Roman God of Love, Cupid, and 650 years of social and commercial embellishment…and there you have it. Valentines Day 2013.

But for most of us, the bigger question looking ahead is what to make of Valentines Day?

As a matchmaker, I can weigh in with some sage advice.

If you are in a relationship, or married:

• ·      Remember it!
• ·      Plan something fun and romantic.
• ·      Take the time to enjoy the day with the one you love.
• ·      Women do love flowers…and a special dinner.
• ·      And Men seem to be very happy with a card and a kiss like you mean it!

And, if you are single…don’t despair! Yes, this may seem like one of those awful days that you just need to survive. Restaurants filled with happy couples, as you shuffle off to the Fitness Club. But, remember, love could be right around the next corner for you. So take the time to have a look. Say hello to an attractive stranger in your coffee shop.  And just maybe Saint Valentine, or even Cupid may be watching. And if that doesn’t work, give me a call. Matchmakers can be just as good as Cupid…plus we take care of all the details and logistics…even Cupid doesn’t do that!

Happy Valentines!

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Is Our Dating Life Already Hardwired Into Us?

We attempt to program our lives all the time-we DVR our favorite shows so we can watch them whenever and where-ever we want. We bookmark our favorite websites so we can visit them more conveniently. We even have  the numbers of our friends and family programmed in our cell phones, so we can reach them with just a touch of a button and never have to remember the actual number. But, have we been doing this with our dating life as well?

A while back we at It’s Just Lunch® conducted several important surveys on dating, that covered major topics impacting men and women’s decision to date certain people, such as career, education, and money. The results produced quite a stir and brought up thought-provoking ideas from the psychological, sociological, and professional communities about how we “choose” our partners and how specifically men and women differ in this area.

In a recent Wall Street Journal Article discussing our survey, Psychiatrist Scott Carroll said that the emerging field of evolutionary psychology views "dating upward" as being in-bred in females. "Current scientific thinking is that women's tendency to seek more successful males is part of a genetic survival program. The exceptions to this rule are when women will seek either a physically dominant male for physical protection or a more nurturing male if the woman is more masculine and highly successful herself."

Lawyer and blogger Chaton Turner disagreed. She said, "I think that it comes from conditioning as opposed to genetics." She added that she had always bucked the trend; dating a variety of men regardless of age, height, and wealth. 

So, what do you think? Visit us on our Facebook page to join the conversation. 

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Ever thought of being a Matchmaker?

INSIDE SALES DIRECTOR

It’s Just Lunch Toronto, Canada’s Premier Matchmaking firm, is seeking focused candidates with a proven track record of success to grow with us in one of the most dynamic and fastest growing industries in the country. We are a dynamic and entrepreneurial organization with a nationally recognized brand featured in The Globe, Cosmopolitan Magazine, NPR and on the Canada AM as well as many others Our clients expect an energetic and “recruiter-minded” individual to offer expertise and guidance during the interview process, as well as provide a realistic picture of potential matches for them within our service. Our fast-paced environment requires multi-tasking skills and the ability to communicate effectively.

• Top candidates will be confident, organized, and enthusiastic about our concept.
• Demonstrated experience in professional sales with proven closing success in prospecting, relationship building and cold-calling.
• Able to target and develop clients through existing database and new lead contacts.
• Provide a consultative approach to meet with clients to evaluate their needs and recommend solutions to ensure expectations are being met
• Ability to flexibly manage time to maximize sales and accommodate clients needs which includes willingness to work extended hours
• Must have the ability to establish rapport with a wide variety of people.
• Exceptional verbal and written communication skills

If you are interested in applying for the Inside Sales Director position, send your cover letter and resume to date@ijlelite.ca with Ref: 2012SalesDirector in the subject headline

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IT'S RAINING MEN IN TORONTO!

Pay attention ladies!

Our Bachelor-47
Our client is a very focused, intelligent, successful gentleman with a great sense of style looking for an attractive and vibrant woman to share his exciting lifestyle. He loves to travel to Europe, the Caribbean or to escape for a weekend to an exciting city. He truly is a carpe diem type! He pursues many interests including golf, cycling, fitness, live theatre, and even shopping! He has seasons ticket to attend sports events. He does some wine collecting and has enjoyed wine tours in France and Napa. He loves entertaining and overseeing the decorating of his homes.
We are looking for an attractive, intelligent woman with a very positive disposition who values honesty and enjoys being spontaneous and trying new things. Age:33-45

Our Bachelor-44
This elite client is an exciting, dynamic and very successful owner of several companies looking for an attractive woman who is ready to enjoy the world and life at its best. He lives between Canada, Europe and the South and enjoys boating and flying, music from popular to opera, golf, tennis and skiing. This is a very exciting and well balanced man. He has high standards and respects those close to him. The person who can always be depended upon by friends. He has traveled to over 150 cities, collects wine and fine art, and is a huge basketball fan.
We are looking for a self-confident, sincere and attractive woman who is self-confident but grounded. Age-29-40, 5'-5'8"

Our Bachelor-40
Our exciting bachelor is a very successful entrepreneur with exotic look, artistic finesse and a full sense of European style. He has traveled all of Europe, the Middle East and Asia and lived in three countries. Enjoying the best in life, wine, theatre, skiing around the world, and boating he is an avid tennis player and accomplished pianist, this gentleman is definitely one of a kind!
We are searching for that model-attractive, fresh, vibrant, fit, positive-minded, who can picture herself living traveling and living this exciting lifestyle- age 24-32, 5'6" and taller

Our Bachelor- 39

Our bachelor is a very sophisticated and successful owner of global tech companies. He has lived in and traveled to several countries and holds property here and in the South. His interests are broad and cover music from popular to classical, dance, theatre, museums, and films. He loves golf and has golfed around the world. He has a very romantic side and a spontaneous boyish side. Very fit and health conscious he enjoys basketball, the gym, boating, race cars and motorbikes, but balances this with reading, fine dining, chess and keeping up with world events.
We are looking for a very attractive, slim, classic European style woman who has a natural wisdom, finesse and a good family background. She must be interested in creating an oasis and making a relationship the priority. Age- 29-36, 5'6"-6', brunette.

Our bachelor- 39
A successful entrepreneur and very fit our client has exceptional good looks, loves the outdoors and sport. He enjoys cooking and entertaining friends and family, has respect for family and friends. Balancing life between the city and a lake house, he loves tennis, sailing, skating, and golf. He loves to take off for weekends and vacations on short notice.
Our client is serious about meeting a very naturally attractive, fit, active young woman with marriage and family as a future priority. Someone with strength of character and integrity but still spontaneous, positive and open to adventure! Age 28-33, 5'9" -6" 

Want to date the ELITE? Send us a photo and a short bio to DATE@IJLELITE.CA

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Men are more interested in a relationship than women?

In our Dating Trends survey we asked singles: “When you are on a first date, what thought is going through your head?”  We received an unexpected result: not only did men and women have different top answers, but the first choice given by 47% of men, “Could we have a relationship together?” was one that in the past would have seemed more typical of women.  Instead, women’s top answer, given by 50% of those polled, was the less stressful “Do I want to see him again?”  Our Dating Trends surveys are beginning to show that men and women are becoming more alike in their dating habits and in some areas, they’re beginning to trade places. 

 Another area where men and women are becoming more alike, especially over the last seven years, is in how fast they decide on a first date whether or not they want to see someone again. In 2004, there was a huge disparity, where 79% of men took fifteen minutes or less--and 64% of women took an hour or more! In 2011, 60% of men and 55% of women take twenty minutes or less. Unfortunately these results are not surprising.  We are so used to demanding and getting instant information that we are beginning to become impatient and closed off, sometimes to our own detriment.  

So what should we do?  Maybe we all should slow down a bit when meeting someone for the first time.  Give the relationship time to develop.

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