Kindness is Key on First Dates

Ideally, it would be fantastic if every relationship, partnership or office interaction left people better off in life. It would be great if every encounter boosted our spirits, increased our confidence and put a smile on our face.

The truth of it is, life rarely works the way we want it to and not all encounters serve to bring out the best in us. Dating can leave you feeling vulnerable and fragile. Our self esteem may take a hit or a personality clash leaves us wondering if we are in fact unlovable.

In a recent It's Just Lunch survey, the majority of respondents said kindness is the most important character trait in a partner. So, how do you inject a tidbit of kindness into your next date? Here are a few ideas:

Be on Time
Nobody wants to be left wondering if their date is going to show at a coffee shop or restaurant. One minute feels like an hour when your nerves are tight and your stomach in knots. If you are going to be even five minutes late, let them know as soon as possible.

Be a Great Listener
Not listening and talking too much often go hand in hand. Tit's really important to listen to the other person, and that doesn't mean just letting them get a word in edgewise. Your aim is to learn about your date. Ask questions and listen to their answers. Ask follow up questions to what they just said. By listening to your date, you are being attentive and that is hands down sexy.

Be Generous With Compliments
Like you, your date is a bundle of nerves. They prepared for this date from picking out the outfit, mentally going over conversation topics and even reading blogs regarding first date tips. A simple compliment can brighten their day and eliminate some of the nerves. Make it a habit to give a genuine compliment to your date.

Say Goodnight -- Gracefully
Don't tell the other person you are going to call or that you are looking forward to a second date if that is not your intention.  There is nothing worse than waiting around for someone to call. It's better to say nothing than to lead someone on. Be honest, but not brutally so.

In the end, it comes down to the Golden Rule. Treat others as you want to be treated. Remember that, and you are well on your way to a great date.

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It Really Does Take Two to Tango!

Some singles have a hard time deciphering whether or not their date is genuinely interested in them. People express themselves differently depending on their personality temperament or even past experiences. In fact, it's not at all uncommon for some singles to mistake attention for affection.

The key to finding out if someone is interested in you as a friend, or possibly more, is through the act of reciprocity. Think about this way. Most people are afraid of rejection, regardless if you're a man or a woman. It really doesn't matter who makes the first move, just as someone as long as someone is making a move to begin with. This gives the other person a chance to respond to the move with further encouragements or a move of his or her own.

For example, simply making eye contact with someone may not be enough to indicate interest, but if you start a conversation with someone, you can gauge their level of interest based on the response. If the person continues to engage with, that person is interested in continuing the conversations until that interest escalates or wanes. However, if the person isn't really engaging with you and is responding with simple, one-word answers, then that person just isn't interested enough to reciprocate.

The common expression "it takes two to tango" has never been more true than in dating and relationships. It's a wonderful dance of give and take to a song that never stops. The next time you meet someone with romantic potential, put out a few feelers in the form of playful comments or potential opportunities to hang out in the future and see if the response you get is favorable or revealing in other ways. 

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