Is it just lunch or is it more?

As matchmaker, I often come across interesting studies that relate to the intricacies of dating and courtship. A recent study released by researchers at Cornell University really caught my attention…

The Researchers, Kevin Kniffen and Brian Wansink, were interested in the importance of what they refer to as ‘commensality’. Yes, I had to Google that, and it means ‘the practice of eating meals at the same table.’ They asked the question, “Does sharing food involve sharing more than just food?” And there answer was a resounding YES.

To investigate this, participants in their research study were asked to rate how jealous they (Study 1) – or their best friend (Study 2) – would be if their current romantic partner were contacted by an ex-romantic partner and subsequently engaged in an array of food- and drink-based activities. They consistently found – across both men and women – that meals elicit more jealousy than face-to-face interactions that do not involve eating, such as having coffee. These findings suggest that people generally presume that sharing a meal enhances cooperation. In the context of romantic pairs, they found that participants are attuned to relationship risks that extra-pair commensality can present. For romantic partners left out of a meal, they found a common view that lunch, for example, is not“just lunch.” In fact, knowing your partner is having lunch with an ex can trigger sexual tension!

Their tests found the lowest rated activity in terms of eliciting jealousy was email correspondence. A live phone chat was somewhat higher. The next step up was face-to-face interaction, over a coffee. But what was particularly interesting was the elevated jealousy recorded when the face-to-face meeting occurred over lunch, and involved eating a meal together, versus just consuming a beverage.

Now here is a fun part of their research report. They found it interesting that the world’s most successful non-internet dating service was called‘It’s Just Lunch’, and postulated that the implicit behavioural associations that relate to ‘communal preparation and consumption of food may impart an advantage to It’s Just Lunch’…as people intuitively know that there is more to this whole thing than just lunch!

Who knows if it does? But my two cents worth is that that Lunch is a great way to approach a first date. Because it is mid-day, it reduces the stress of ‘what to wear, and what to do after’. Because it typically has a time line of about an hour, it is a comfortable amount of time to get a solid first impression of someone you are meeting for the first time. And because you are in a public place, it gives you the opportunity see how a potential date interacts with others such as waiters, and so on and this always helps you gauge chemistry.

So my advice is to get out from behind your computer, put down your smart phones, and Do Lunch this summer with someone you find interesting. Maybe it will turn out to be more than just lunch!

But if you really like being behind your computer, you can read the full report at:http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0040445

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