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Wednesday 20 August 2014

Dating & Networking: All About Connections

Whether you are looking for potential clients, a new job or even potential investors, your professional and social networks can deliver help when you need it.

Each of us have "liked" a company page at the urging of a friend to support his start-up. We have all flashed the "six degrees" card when trying to score an interview or even a meeting with a company manager.

However, reaching out, even out of the blue, can feel a bit awkward at best. If its been awhile, or not at all, it can be a bit like fishing. You toss out the bait and hope it hooks them.

Well, like networking, dating is about trying to make that stellar first impression with a stranger on the other side of the screen, phone or friendship circle. It is our intention to make one that stands out above the others without coming across as sketchy or stalker like.

The secret in standing out, whether it is in the dating and job hunting pool, is to provide a peek into what makes you unique and offer value. So, how do you do that? Well, here are a few simple tips:

1) Ask Genuine Questions
Instead of skimming the person's profile, getting the gist of what they are saying during appetizers, ask questions that not only express your interest in their interests but which go beyond "yes" or "no" response. Thing of it as you "biting on the line" they threw out there. Showing genuine interest in someone, as we learned last week, is the easiest way for the other person to develop an interest in you.

2) Follow Up with Value
Whether it is after a first date or a coffee date with a CEO executive, make sure you follow up with a piece of value. This can be a link to an article you discussed, the YouTube video that was mentioned or perhaps just a snippet of a story you read that reminded you of them. Remember, authentic is the key. Don't flood their emails boxes with every article you can find about knitting -- find things that are like subway tokens which will gain you a bit more access to them.

3) It's All About Connections
So, the date wasn't ideal. There may not have been chemistry. However, the world is small and it is better to make a friend than an enemy. The reason for this is simple, while the two of you aren't destined to be -- the other person could be the link that reveals a new dating opportunity. Maybe your failed date's best friend is also looking for that special someone which could result in a referral for you. Just as in networking, we're "linked in" to one another and it is through our connections that we meet new people.

4) Know the Bigger Picture
Often times, people are dating or seeing many people. The dating pool is large and there are many people testing the waters. If you don't get an answer right away, don't be discouraged. The truth of it is, it may be a hectic week at work or they may be studying for an exam. People have lives and you should too. Send an email but don't release a send storm on their in-box. Give it time.

Good luck!

Wednesday 13 August 2014

Get Your Flirt On: Show Genuine Interest in People

I am going to let you in on a little secret. One of the biggest dilemma's I face as a professional matchmaker is professional clients who feel like they don't know how to flirt. 

Singles, whether they are just wading into the dating pool or recently out of a long-term relationship, view flirting in such a narrow capacity that it almost hinders their inherent ability to do it. In fact, they do it everyday at work and don’t even recognize it as a form of flirting; they think they're just being friendly, which of course they are. After all, there is definitely an element of friendliness that’s assumed when people flirt.

Flirting is simply a lighthearted interaction between two people as if they are attracted to each other, though attraction is by no means a prerequisite for flirting. In most cases, people flirt to express romantic interest in someone or to reciprocate such interest. In many other cases, people do it for for fun, to make someone smile or to give themselves an ego boost perhaps. However, flirting can also be used as a great relationship building tool in more professional settings when used strategically.

So, now that you know the basic definition of flirting, I am going to reveal the key to the fine art: sucess lies in having an authentic charm about you. The easiest way to turn up your charm is to be genuinely interested in people. What fascinates you most about people, the way they think, or the things that make them tick? Ask them questions; some people love talking about themselves. Another way to turn up the charm is by simply remembering people’s names. When meeting people for the first time, be sure to repeat their name at least three times during the initial conversation to help you remember it.

Be authentic. Ask genuine questions that go beyond the weather, what they do for a living or who they know at the cocktail party. Seek to know where they got those fascinating earrings or what they like to grow in their garden. 

 The most important thing to remember about flirting for success is to keep it light, fun and positive while being empathetic to other people’s feelings. If you can do this, then you will flirt the way flirting was supposed to happen - naturally and effortlessly.

Want to achieve more success with dating? Visit www.itsjustlunchtoronto.com where you can outsource your dating life to professional matchmakers who will help you meet more of the kind of people you want to meet--smart, professional singles who have their life together and are ready for a relationship with the right person.

Wednesday 6 August 2014

Pump Up the Music Before Your First Date

Whether it is on the drive to that new Italian restaurant or while you are putting the final touches on your makeup at home, many of us turn up the tunes to give our spirits a bit of a lift before a first date.  It may even give you a bit of a confidence boost.

Turns out, this effect isn't all in your head. Recent research says that music can make us feel powerful -- and the levels of bass are a determining factor.

"As published today in Social Psychological and Personality Science, the researchers found that the high-power music not only evoked a sense of power unconsciously . . .

"We chose to manipulate bass levels in music because existing literature suggests that bass sound and voice are associated with dominance," Hsu says. They also observed that bass sound and voice are frequently utilized in popular culture to project perceptions of dominance and confidence. (Think James Earl Jones as Darth Vader in Star Wars.)," according to a press release on the study.

So, why would drumming on the steering wheel to Queen's "We Will Rock You" help you with the upcoming first date? It influences the illusion of control, or that you have the choice of how the evening turns out. You are in the driver seat on the direction of the upcoming date. The outcome depends upon you.

Get down. Get funky. It will help raise your spirits and your confidence for your date!


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