Featured Singles

It's Just Lunch Toronto is looking for the perfect match for some of our top successful singles -- you!

Our Personalized Approach to Dating

It's Just Lunch Toronto meets with each client one-on-one before arranging a casual lunch date or a drink after work. Dating can be simple.

Up Your Dating Game: Join the Elite!

Whether you are new to the dating scene or recently out of a relationship, IJL Elite dating experts are here to help busy professionals such as yourself find their match.

Friday, 1 November 2013

Debunking the Free Lunch - The Real Cost of Online Dating



The numbers are staggering. Over 40 million American Singles have searched for dates online in the last year. That’s 4 out of every 5 singles. And the average online dater now invests 12 hours per week in their online searches.  Five hours searching for matches, and seven hours attempting to connect and arrange a real date. This has propelled Online Dating into the #3 position in the ranking of heaviest uses of our beloved Internet. That surpasses the perennial leader – Porn, and places behind only music downloads and gaming. And the trends in Canada are similar.

Seeing these stats, I went online to learn more…and here is what I found. An online poll hosted by Plenty of Fish reported that it took the average online dater six hours of work to yield a first date – usually for coffee. And was it a match made in heaven? Unfortunately…no. In most cases the respondents were disappointed. Most often they found that the person who showed up for coffee did not closely resemble the visual image that they fell for. And the profile that they gushed over was somewhat overstated.

So while it is all the rage, online dating consumes a significant amount of time. And despite the diligence you might put into searching, responding and connecting…the end result is only as good as the accuracy and insight reflected in the profiles and pictures that you are searching through. Therein lies the challenge. It is a bit of a wild west…where the most appealing combination of picture and prose yields the responses. But once two people meet, the lack of accuracy often leads to disappointment. And overtime, disenchantment with the whole process of dating. Wasn't dating supposed to be fun?

But let’s get back to the cost. Online dating services ranges from free to  $200-$300 per year in fees. But for anyone who values their time, there are significant additional opportunity costs. A US study in the San Francisco Bay area estimated the total costs. They looked at the number of hours invested on average to get a third date. Their research indicated that on average, it required 6 hours to get a first date. On average five 1st dates led to just one 2nd date. In turn, five 2nd dates led to one 3rd date. All tallied that is twenty-five 1st dates and five 2nd dates to get that elusive 3rd date. They used the average hourly salary in the Bay area ($28US) as a proxy for the Opportunity Cost. So each first date had an ‘opportunity cost’ of 6 hours @ $28 or $168, plus $7 for coffee and croissants. That’s $175 each. Across 25 first dates, that adds up to a whopping $4375. Then they calculated the time to reconnect and set up five 2nd dinner dates at 1 hour each, plus an average dinner cost of $50. That is $78 for each 2nd date, across five dates…or $390. So the ‘real investment’ was estimated to be $4,765… if you value your time at $28 per hour. Ouch!

But what if your time is really worth $100 per hour. Then the investment jumps astronomically to $16,000. Quadruple Ouch.

And by that point, I think you would be wise to find a more time and cost-effective way to meet your match. Consider outsourcing the task to a professional matchmaker with a large database, experience in matching people and personal insight into each person they introduce you to.

If you value your time…there is no such thing as a free lunch!

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Get Your Flirt on This Halloween

Halloween Singles Tips - Toronto Dating

Could your future mate be behind that Jason mask? Is the Game of Thrones character your soul mate in disguise?

According to an It's Just Lunch survey, forty-six percent (46%) of singles think you can and that it is the perfect occasion to meet singles.

While getting fixed up by friends and co-workers or surfing dating sites is a traditional approach to finding a soul mate, stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying some new dating avenues (such as a Halloween bash) expands your possibilities and increases your confidence ten-fold.

So, how do you go about catching Little Red's eye? How do you strike up a conversation with the sexy vampire? You're in luck. Here are a few tips for getting your flirt on this All Hallows Eve:

1) Look for the Why & How
Flirting is about getting to know someone else. People love it when you ask questions that let them show you who they are. Most people will only inquire about the surface things, such as "Great costume." "Love the outfit." Take it a step further by asking them "why" they chose their costume or HOW they ended up coming up with that unique idea. It will add interest on their part and set you apart from the other party goers.

2) Tell It Like It Is
Being vulnerable and honest, even from behind the Jason mask, is the slam-dunk, sexiest thing a man or woman can be. Go beyond "It's just something I threw together" with "She was my favorite character in 'Firefly'. I admire her strength and sense of duty."

3) Listen Attentively
Being a good listener is a potent aphrodisiac and an excellent ingredient for weaving your magic. Everyon loves teh feeling of being full seen -- and heard.

4) Make Meaningful Eye Contact & Smile
This 1-2 punch transports these simple actions from the realm of friendship to the world of flirting. Let your eyes linger on his/hers while you are talking and smile.

5) Laugh
One of the best ways to demonstrate your sense of humor is by appreciating the other persons.

6) Be Enthusiastic
when flirting, you want the person you are flirting with to feel good about you and to experience you as a fun, happy, great-to-be-with person. Enjoy the encounter -- no matter what happens. If you seem like you're glad to be mixing and mingling with the creatures of the night -- they will be also.

7) Go In For The Lean
Lean forward to convey interest -- this is easy to do over the background noise of music and conversation.

8) Be Open and Accessible
Smiling and talking to various people (meaning: break free from your pack) sends the signal that you are approachable.

Above all else, have fun. You never know when cupid will strike. As long as you keep your expectations in check. Go with the intention of making a friend rather than expecting to meet your life partner. You'll have more fun and experience way less performance anxiety.

Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Second Chance: Why You Should Say "Yes" to A Second Date

Asking for A Second Date
So, the date is coming to a close and that confident, funny, super-sexy self that cruised through lunch just flew out the window.  At this point you are in one of three places:

  • Excited and can't wait to see him/her again;
  • You're convinced that this isn't the one for you;
  • Or perhaps you're unsure.
If you're digging him/her, let them know and ask for the second date.  If not, this might be a great time to thank your date for a wonderful lunch and leave it at that. Tell them whether you're interested in seeing them again or not. Most people appreciate it when you speak your mind, but make sure you don't just dump your feelings on them. Be responsible and kind. 

But if you are on the fence after the first date, consider pursuing a second one. Some people, even though they try their best, just can't relax until the second date.  Or maybe last time they were having a bad day and you didn't get to see the absolutely charming individual they really are.  A lot of people suffer from first-date jitters. In fact, fear is the number one cause for first-date disasters and often leads to over-talking or out-of-character shyness.

Change things up for attempt number two with a round of golf, a bike ride or a game of tennis. A number of people find it easier to open up and connect with someone when they are moving around. 

Trust your instincts and you'll be surprised at how perceptive you really are when it comes to love.

An instinctive gut feeling can draw you to Mr. or Ms. Right, even if they don't match all your criteria on paper. You probably have friends who are with partners who you would never have thought they'd be with. What brings people like that together? They trusted their gut.

Basically, we all want the same things in a partner: honesty, trust, good communication, confidence, fun and understanding. If we can add chemistry to that -- then bingo!