Back-To-Dating Checklist from the Toronto Matchmakers

There’s something nostalgic about this back-to-school time of year..newly sharpened pencils, binders in all your favorite colors, old friends and new friends. Back in the day, your mom probably took you shopping for new clothes, and you stocked up on all of those fresh, new school supplies that armed you with confidence for the new school year.
Just like you had to get your ducks in a row before school started, it’s smart to prepare yourself before you go back out into the dating world after you get divorced or end a long-term relationship. Not only will it set you up for success, but it will calm any nerves and make you feel more confident when you go out on that first date. Just like sixth grade when you had those brand new Chuck Taylors. Think you’re ready to get back out into the dating world?

Here’s our It’s Just Lunch back-to-dating checklist from the Toronto matchmaking team:

Get a haircut
You don’t need a major change to your ‘do, a trim is enough. Men, most women prefer you to be well groomed. It shows you care about your appearance, which will make her feel like you care about the date. That doesn’t mean you have to ditch the facial hair, just keep it trimmed and neat. Or if you really want to treat yourself, head to the barbershop for a nice hot towel shave.

Ladies, even a quarter of an inch off the ends will make your hair feel lighter and healthier. Who doesn’t feel more confident when they walk out of the salon? If you want an even bigger boost, go for a blowout before your first date. Indulge – you deserve it!

Wear some new duds
The women out there probably don’t need an excuse to go shopping for a new outfit, but men are sometimes a tougher sell. We know many of you hate shopping, but consider grabbing a new shirt for your first time back out on the dating scene. It’s tough to go wrong with a nice button down that fits you correctly (i.e., fitted without buttons bursting across your chest or your stomach and the sleeves are the right length for your arms), and you can keep it untucked with jeans if you’re going to a casual venue.

Purge photos and mementos of the ex
Go ahead and throw out or put away photos and mementos of your ex – not because you expect this first date to come back home with you, but because it’s time to put yourself in the right mindset for meeting someone new. Imagine coming home from a great date and spotting the piece of art you and your ex picked up in a Toronto gallery last year. That will kill your mood quickly and make you less receptive to new possibilities.

Let go of the anger
While we’re talking about exes, if you’re ready to date again, you’re ready to let go of any anger you feel for your ex. Have you ever been on a date with someone who couldn’t stop talking about their ex and how they were so inconsiderate or did so many things that drove them crazy? If you haven’t, you will. It’s not pretty, so don’t be that guy or gal.

Get excited for your new adventure
You’re likely to go through a whole range of emotions as you re-enter the dating scene: nervous, anxious, hopeful and even angry. Embrace the excitement of starting a new chapter in your life. Take some time to think about what makes you happy, and then open yourself up to finding someone who enjoys those same things. Imagine what it will feel like when you find that person, and let that fuel you forward.

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Toronto's Bachelorette of the Week

Guys, I hope you’re ready because we’ve been interviewing some incredible women lately! Here is a little bit about a new female client that we’re all excited to be working with and matching:

Not only is our bachelorette a fun-loving blonde hair/brown-eyed stunner, she has the smarts to back it up!  She is a successful entrepreneur in her mid 30’s with a creative flair and the proud Mom to her son. She is very fit and active, she loves boating, cottage life and running marathons! She has an ongoing “love affair with France and Italy” that pairs well with her appreciation for fine wine and great food. Our beautiful “Bachelorette of the Month” is looking for a man that she can laugh with and has a positive outlook on life to possibly join her in her future travels! Is this you?

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How to Date a Dog Lover

Think romance has gone to the dogs? You might be right. According to the 2014 Canadian Pet Market Outlook, 32 per cent of Canadian households own dogs which equates to 5.9 million households. Don’t be surprised then if you run into a dog lover during your search for a partner. 

In the same way you hope to partner with a man or woman whose parenting styles align with your own, the same can be said about the relationship they have with their dog. So, before you adorn that dog bone with a big red bow, take a few minutes to prepare yourself for the lifestyle that goes along with dating a dog lover. 

Dogs are part of the family

There is no denying this, and if you’re dating a dog lover, there is certainly no arguing it. Dogs sometimes get better treatment than the people living under the same roof. It’s important for you to learn to respect and admire a dog owner’s commitment to treating their dog as more than just a pet, but a member of their family. The sooner you accept this, the better chance you have of leading a happy love life, with your partner and their canine companion. 

Dog lovers treat their dogs like children

What do people who love their dogs do? They do exactly what a person does with their child. They throw them birthday parties. They dress them up on Halloween. A survey taken in September of 2013, showed that of the 1,407 dog owners who responded, 86 % reported they used a picture of their pet as their screensaver. You may even find yourself explaining to a few people that the “baby waiting at home” is just a dog. 

You’ll never be greeted first

Unless you’re willing to sprint to the door, wide-eyed and enthusiastic, jumping up and down and running circles around their legs, you will never be greeted first. Their dog will always receive dibs on the “Honey, I’m home” kisses. Don’t let this hurt your feelings.  

You’re a third wheel

Dogs demand an unwavering amount of love and affection. Not only will you be asked to supply some of it, but also you’ll also never be entirely sure who is loved more, you or the dog. Frankly, you probably don’t want to find out. One-on-one cuddling will be non-existent. Not only will you be sharing your bed with the dog, but you’ll also realize that it is completely acceptable for their canine companion to carve a spot out on the couch during movie night, directly between the two of you. 

Invest in a lint roller

Or two. Or ten. If you were wondering who coined the term “fur coat,” it was dog owners. Most dog breeds shed, so get used to finding hairs in your favorite sweater from two winters ago. While you’re at it, say goodbye to your beloved white clothing, unless your lover has a white dog. In that case, consider parting ways with that charcoal duvet cover. 

Patience is key

Whether it’s a newborn puppy or a full grown dog, they’re probably chewing on something that they shouldn’t be. Chances are, you would’ve lost that old sock anyway. In other cases, you may come across an old squeaky chew toy hidden in your couch cushion, or trip over a half eaten rawhide. No one is blind to “doggy breath” or the odor that consumes the house when his or her fur child is wet. 

Try to stay as calm as possible during these instances. Take a few minutes to read about your lover’s breed and it’s nature. Learning to care for an animal is a process that requires both patience and commitment, both of which take time. 

Don’t try to fake it 

"Pretending – or outright lying – is not the way to begin a relationship, even if you think it’s a little white lie to say you love dogs," says Jacquie Brownridge - www.itsjustlunchtoronto.com. “It will come out eventually, so own up to it from the beginning. It’s unlikely to be a deal breaker unless you treat the dog poorly or start demanding they give the dog up.” 

If you find that you are both avid dog lovers, perfect! You may have just found your soulmate. However, if you can’t seem to understand the reasoning behind your lover’s strong appreciation of his or her furry companion, don’t try to fake it. At this point it’s important to determine if compromises need to be made, as well as if you can see yourself in this relationship long term, with the idea that it’s a package deal – you, him or her, and the dog.

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