Reflect, Reconsider and Reach Out: Dating Tips for 2015

The ball has dropped on the new year. Do you have any resolutions? Anything you would like to change?

If you are like many singles, you are probably filled with hope for what 2015 may hold. That the change of the calendar is all it takes to change your status. As much as I wish it for you, this isn't the case. It takes a bit of work and the 3 R's to make big changes in your 2015 love life.

REFLECT UPON 2014 DATING LIFE
The lull at the beginning of the new year is a great time to reflect upon 2014. Too often, daters move from relationship to relationship without being sufficiently introspective throughout the process.  In a rush to update their status, they don't stop to identify patterns that are actually hurting their dating life.

TIP: Select one facet of your love life that must change and stick with it.  One client, by the name of Sarah, reflected on 2014 and learned, "I realized I date men longer than I should—meaning, I go on five or six dates with a guy, recognize the connection isn't there, but I keep seeing him thinking maybe the sparks will develop.  But they never do.  I end up prolonging the inevitable break-up which makes it harder for both of us in the end."

RECONSIDER YOUR PREFERENCES

Some of us need to reconsider who we go out with in 2015.  We all have an image of our ideal partner but too many daters rule out anyone who doesn't fit their rigid criteria.  Take it from those who've been there, sometimes The One shows up in a slightly different package than we'd expected.

TIP:  Make a list of the qualities you want in your future spouse.  Dream big and have fun with it!  Highlight the "must have" characteristics—those traits on which you will not bend.  Consider any others to be negotiable.

REACH OUT BEYOND YOUR IMMEDIATE CIRCLE
 If you want your love life to change in 2015, you have to make some changes.   For those in the dating scene, this means reaching out in a new direction.  Push yourself a bit—nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

TIP:  Interview friends whose relationships you respect.  How did they meet The One?  Commit to stepping out of your comfort zone by trying one of the methods that worked for them.

Ring in the New Year by resolving to follow the "3 R's"—reflect on your patterns, reconsider your criteria, and reach out in a different direction.  Shape up your dating style and see who comes your way in 2015!

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New Year's Eve: Give Old Traditions a New Dating Spin

New Year's Eve has taken over from Valentine's Day as the world's most high-pressured and overpriced date night.  During the early throes of a relationship, it is easy to expect to ring in 2015 with a midnight kiss from your new crush.

But perhaps you should start the new year off by marching to a different tune. Not doing the same thing for New Year's Eve date night can open you up to new experiences, new people and new foods. Use your keen sense of adventure for dating . . . and yes, even on this special date night.

Think about foregoing the dress up dinner and champagne toast for a night of bowling, karaoke competition or even a personal countdown at the waterfront.

Be yourself and be comfortable of course, but you don’t have to play it so safe all the time (except with any activity with major vertical drops).  Shed the monotony of watching the ball drop and consider shaking up your new year's plans

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Ask the Matchmaker: How Do I Find My Dream Guy?

Q: How would I go about meeting someone 50- 60 white professional male?
-- Posted to the It's Just Lunch Toronto Facebook page

A: This is one of the more frequent questions I receive from friends, family and even people who I cross paths with at cocktail parties: how do I meet my ideal mate?

The top three challenges singles face when searching for their match is making the time for dating, knowing where to find like-minded people and keeping an open mind during the process.

1) Making Time for Dating
It's been crazy for you. You've had several business projects find their way to your desk, many with tight deadlines. You spend the majority of your day in meetings, traveling to those locations and stuck in traffic for thirty minutes each way for your commute. Your gym card has a fine layer of dust on it. The holidays are coming and you haven't even thought about making plans.

In short, you are in a committed relationship with your job. A growing number of singles are spending long hours at work behind a computer rather than meeting potential matches and developing long-term relationships.

Dating is work -- but you have to put in the hours to reap the benefits.

Make the time. Like taxis and job opportunities, when one appears, a whole slew of others seem to follow. The hardest part is getting started. Step away from that safety zone, return that call and start dating. Your future self will thank you.

2) Develop Interests to Find Interesting People
Interesting singles are all around you. But chances are you are consumed with busy lives and a few insecurities about approaching strangers you find attractive. The key is to notice your surroundings and the people in them. Strike up conversations with the barista, the guy waiting behind you at the store checkout. Having a genuine interest in getting to know new people will be move valuable than you think. You never know who that person might introduce you to in the future.

To meet new people, try taking a new class or say yes to that party invite from the guy down the hall. Branching out, pursuing our interests is the way to find new people with similar interests. In short, break out of your day to day rut to open the doors to new opportunities.

3) Open Yourself Up to the Potentials
One of the most common mistakes I see people making when dating is that they repeatedly date the same type of person and expect different results. Open yourselves up to connecting with people who have similar core values but different professions, backgrounds and interests. That doesn't mean to let go of your deal breakers. Everyone has preferences -- just consider if maybe they are a bit too limiting.

4) Benefits of It's Just Lunch and IJL Elite
Let the experts at It's Just Lunch Toronto do the work for you. A matchmaking service for busy professionals, the matchmakers at It’s Just Lunch take the time to learn what you’re looking for and help you find it. You never know when that low pressure lunch date is going to turn into someone you’d love to take home for the holidays.

We also have a specialized branch, IJL Elite, where executive matchmakers help busy professionals find their match. We are always looking for qualified matches for our clients. Take a moment to fill out the online form and one of our professional matchmakers will follow up with you for a personal and confidential interview. We will take care of all the arrangements and coordinate the first date.

In the end, the road to romance is determined by your focus, willingness to participate and how open you are to potential matches. You are in the driver seat. Be proactive about your dating.

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