What Are You Dressing As? Approachable Vs Sexy Costumes

From lavish costumes to the electric vibe of the evening, it is easier than normal to approach that special someone on Halloween.

Turns out that while men and women are more attracted to singles in sexy costumes (no surprise, there), they feel that potential matches in funny costumes are much easier to approach. The disparity between attraction and approachable comes down to something I like to call the "in."

The "in" is the tiny token that someone can use to break the ice, further conversation and take a chance at winning you over. It's more than noticing how hot the man dressed in navy uniform looks. It's more about being able to notice something and use that as the launch pad to engage you in conversation.

An "in" doesn't have to be extreme. It's just a way to take your costume to the next level to encourage the approach of interested suitors. Think of Little Red Riding Hood's basket. If Little Red handed out candy to people as a way of starting a conversation,it would also double as an "in" for anyone seeking to talk with her.

The key here is to tone down the sex appeal while giving your outfit a bit more "umph" in the approachable area. What can you do to add a bit more interaction to your costume?

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Dating Post Break-Up: Have Your Story & Make It Short

It's been a long road but you're finally ready to take on the singles' scene after a divorce and the termination of a long-term relationship.

When it comes to discussing your marriage and former spouse, less is more. No matter the circumstances surrounding your divorce, talking about it will only paint you in a bad light. If your ex left you, anything you share could be misconstrued as an unwillingness to let go of your marriage. Conversely, if you instigated the divorce, discussing your departure may make you appear callous. Either way, your date will likely see red flags waving.

The key here is to focus on connecting with your date and letting them get to know you rather than feeling you need to explain your status or setting the record straight on your first marriage.

However, if your date prods you with repeated questions about your marriage, respond vaguely and concisely à la, "We married too young and grew apart" or "Our lives just started moving in different directions." Then change the topic immediately. To divert additional questioning, politely add, "Thanks for your interest, but I'd much rather spend our time getting to know you."

If you continue to see each other, further discussion about past relationships will likely ensue but initially, daters should concentrate on their potential future together as opposed to excavating their pasts.

Place your past firmly behind you by stepping away from your old life and moving enthusiastically toward your new one!

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Dating Mistake: Judging Your Date

Which dating mistake is the most common?
1) Talking too much
2) Too high expectations
3) Judging your date
4) Spilling your history (too open)

According to a survey of singles, the majority said judging ones date was the most common error they made (35%).

In the TV show Love Story, the couple is introduced while giving viewers a VIP seat to their thoughts. Peter (Jake McDorman) judges women walking down the street by his desire to sleep with them while Dana (Analeigh Tipton) judges their purses.

We've all done it, especially while in the midst of dating. Shallow, stereotypical and incredibly insensitive as it may be, we often make the mistake of judging the person on the other side of the table negatively without giving them a chance.

Passing judgment on someone is really about finding the areas in which they are lacking or qualities that you don't approve of. It is like putting up a hurdles in front of love matches, and expecting them to fail to reach the finish line.

Pre-judging your date or looking for the negative is a way of finding the area to reject someone before they have a chance to do it to you. It's like laying the foundation for why it wouldn't work out before you even order an appetizer.

If you find yourself prejudging your date, there are a few things you can do to break the negative cycle:

1) Focus on the Positive
You mind has quickly tallied a list of what your date doesn't have or you find less than stellar. Force it to look for something positive. Strong handshake? Saying "bless you" when you sneeze (even if it was because you are allergic to the stem he brought you)? Learn to zero in on the positives.

2) Practice Mindful Dating
Don't fast forward to the end of the date where you must decide whether or not to see this person again. Mindful dating means you are in the present and focused on what is being discussed right now. You are actively listening to the other person and in the moment with them. Don't worry about the possibility of rejection or what you are going to do post-date. Live now. In the moment.

3) Flexibility is Key
Okay, so not every first date blossoms into the relationship of the century. Truth of it is, many of them will end in a fizzle of communication where texting, emails and calls just decline to nothing. Instead of looking at it in all or nothing terms, dating or not, think of it as making a new friend. So you two don't mix in the love department -- doesn't mean you can't be movie buds or attend art galleries together. You never know where the current situation will take you. Stay flexible and open. Skip the rejection scenario.

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