Why a Second Chance May Be Your Key to Finding True Love

I'm not going to lie. The end of a date can be a bit awkward. Do you offer them your card and leave the ball in their court? Do you ask for a second date? Do you thank your date for an awesome lunch (brunch, coffee, whatever) and leave it at that? Well, its a bit tricky and it comes down to instincts.

At this point of the date, you are in one of three places:

1) Elation: You're excited and want to see them again!
2) Not feeling it: You're convinced this person is not your match.
3) Uncertainty: Perhaps it wasn't idea, but you don't feel the urge to run away as soon as the tab is paid.

While it is clear that you should ask for a second date with the first one, perhaps you should consider tossing your hat in the ring for another round with 2 and 3.  In short, before you press the built-in rejection button, remember that you only need to determine whether you want to see them again. That's it.

While first impressions are important and your time is precious, there is a point to giving someone a second chance. A lot of people suffer from first-date jitters. In fact, fear is the number one cause for first-date disasters and often leads to over-talking or out of character shyness. Some people may show up for the encounter with residue from their day lingering in their mind. In short, their true self may not be at the first date.

Before leaving it at "Thank you. Good luck," there are two areas where you should check in with yourself.  The first is compatibility. Do you have anything in common? Enjoy the same hobby, perhaps? The second involves a quick check with your instincts. Ask yourself how they make you feel or how they treat you.  Trust your instincts. You'll be surprised how perceptive you are.

An instinctive gut feeling can draw you to Mr. or Mrs. Right even if they don't match all your criteria on paper. You probably have friends who are with partners who you never thought they'd be with.

I usually recommend two or three dates before you rule someone out completely.  By the third date, you will have enough data to make a solid assessment about the other person and their future role in your life -- even if it is nothing other than friends.

Regardless, it's important to be straightforward, however you feel about the other person. Tell them if you are interested in seeing them again or not. Most people will appreciate it when you speak your mind. Don't make false promises about what may come next if you're not into them.

Read More

Easy Ways to Ask Someone Out on a Date

You've spent the entire evening flirting with someone. You're on fire, loving life, feeling wanted and dying to see them again. All you have to do is ask.

Asking someone out on a date should be easy, right? Yes, but it is rarely that simple. Especially if you are nervous, a bit shy or suffer from a slight case of social anxiety.

The first thing to remember is to relax. Try not to view your request as a date. Better still - take the pressure off by not even using the "D" word. The whole thing takes on a life of its own when that word appears.

While asking for a date directly has a great rate of success, sometimes an indirect route can save you some anxiety when approaching a potential love interest:

Create an Opportunity
Once you know more about what your date likes to do, you can offer an invitation. If they dig art, ask them to the latest big museum exhibition. Into sports? See if they would like to check out a CFL game the next time the Argonuts are in town.

Drop a Hint
Ask about a subject and drop a subtle invite. Say something like:

* You: What do you like to do on the weekends?
* Them: Hiking
* You: We should go hiking together sometime.

Then move on in the conversation. Ask about her favorite hiking spot. Listen carefully to her response and gauge her enthusiasm. If she stays upbeat and positive, ask her if she would like to go hiking with you next weekend.

Keep It Casual
If you are uncomfortable asking "Would you like to go to dinner Friday night?" try:

"I am going for a ride along the boardwalk on Sunday. Would you like to go?"

Posing the question as if you're already going and they can join you, if interested, will take the pressure off both of you.

Be Specific
"I'd like to take you for coffee this Thursday" is more powerful than asking if they would like to "go out sometime."

The key is to plan ahead and be specific when asking someone out on a date. Your potential date will feel much more comfortable saying yes if they know what you want to do.

Read More

Single: Tips for Looking for Love Again . . . Father's Day Special: $200 Off

Each of us has our own path to travel when it comes to success in dating. You may have some circumstances that make your dating life a bit challenging. Perhaps you were recently divorced and hesitant to jump into the deep end, much less create an online profile. Or maybe scheduling dates has had some road blocks as you adjust to juggling babysitters, gymnastic practice times and little league weekend games as a single parent.

Getting back into the dating game as a single parent, can be a bit daunting. That's why we suggest that single parents make a list of what you want from a potential mate:

* In one column, list what qualities you consider "absolutely necessary" in the people you want to date. This could be "an enthusiasm and love for children."

* In the second column, consider the qualities that are "somewhat necessary." Such as "well-educated" or income levels.

* In the last column, list the qualities that are "not absolutely necessary" but may be nice.  Such as "being a fan of your favorite hockey team."

Lunch dates can be the perfect way to test the waters. The first few dates are about exploring and getting to know the other person. Seeing if the two of you click on the chemistry level.  Luncheon dates fit easily into your work schedule while the kids are in school or at day care and won't impact your home life much at the beginning.

When you are ready, and depending upon their age, it is recommended that you talk with your kids about your desire to date. Think of your honesty as a seed that will grow into their future acceptance -- even before you start dating.

Kids are an important part of your life, but don't forget to make your happiness a priority too. Give yourself the opportunity to get to know someone before you start sizing up  their parental potential.

Are you a single dad? Know a single dad? It's Just Lunch is offering $200 off its premiere membership for the month of June. Simply contact us at ItsJustLunchToronto.com or call (416-703-3900) and mention this blog post to receive the discount.

Happy Father's Day . . . and happy dating!

Read More