20 Years of First Dates – Part 2: Wordplay and Flirting

In honor of 20 years of setting up first dates between singles around the country, It’s Just Lunch recently produced a survey based on our experiences—trust us, we’ve had a lot. We’ll share our findings with you and give you the inside scoop on tips that are timeless, tips that are played-out, and modern tips that may add a fresh edge to your love life. Enjoy!
Now that you’ve made a good first impression as we discussed in Part 1 of our series, it’s time to keep that momentum going. Whether you’re just engaging in a simple dinner, heading to an art gallery, going to a concert, or simply taking a stroll on a beautiful day, the point of a first date is to get to know someone and you can’t do that without conversation. With conversation, comes the opportunity for a bit of flirtation too, so we’ll be covering tips on do’s and don’ts. While you might think some these are straightforward, you’d be surprised how many stumble when it comes to chatting with a partner. Don’t worry; we’re here to help.

 Good Conversation: Worth 1000 Words
There’s an old Buddhist saying about conversations called “Right Speech” that basically means the following: speak warmly, friendly, and gently and you can make friends and avoid war. For our purposes, we’ll extend it into use on first dates in order to impress a partner. According to an It’s Just Lunch survey, over a third of singles mentioned easy conversation as an important component of compatibility. So what does this mean? You can dress to the nines, exude physical attractiveness, and even share a similar outlook on life; but if you can’t express yourself beyond that, then you’ll run into problems.
If you struggle with conversation on the first date or simply aren’t sure what to say, there are several tips we can help you with in order to get you going. First: know your current events. You don’t need to dive into the details of politics or the intricacies of a celebrity’s private life, but having a cursory knowledge of what’s going on will help drive conversation. Remember, ignorance isn’t necessarily bliss. Second: ask open-ended questions. Avoid asking questions that may just have a yes or no answer. That said, third: remember something your date said and come back to it later on in the conversation if possible. Everyone loves a good listener; it means you’re interested in what they have to say. Fourth: throw a few jokes into the conversation if appropriate. But please, make sure they are clean and inoffensive. Finally, five: be positive. This is probably the most important element to a first date conversation. While self-deprecation can be cute, it’s rarely a turn-on or a chemistry builder. The majority of people react well to positive thinking, so roll with it.

Trending Topics and Turn-Offs to Avoid
So, how about that...(insert topic of discussion here)? So, you know how to go about talking on a first date. The next question is, what to say? There are lots of options, but generally speaking the vast majority of singles polled in our survey said “hobbies and interests” are among the easiest conversation topics to tackle. After that came travel, followed by family, movies, and food.
It’s easy to come up with ideas of what to talk about; however, what people often have problems doing is avoiding topics that shouldn’t be brought up in the first place. You’re best served by not bringing up any past conquests. In fact, the majority of respondents cited conversation along those lines as a major turn-off. You may also want to avoid talking about money, health problems, politics, and the future.
Now, some may say it’s disingenuous not to bring up discussion topics like those on the first date. What if politics, religion, money, physical ailments, or even an ex plays a large role in your life? The different between good conversation topics and bad conversation topics is simply, common ground. First dates are opportunities to meet people halfway and see what they are all about. Often times, the topics under the “avoid” column are there because they might alienate a date or are deeply personal. Since the goal of a first date is to get to know someone and make them feel comfortable, it’s best to avoid topics that will lead toward the opposite.

Get Your Flirt On
Now that you’re engaged in a brilliant conversation with your date, it’s time to inject a little flirtation into the mix. Why? Because while good conversation will help strength a bond between two people, flirtation can help enhance chemistry; besides, you don’t want to get stuck into the “friend zone”, especially on a first date.
So what signals can you give off that mean you’re interested? Simple. Pay undivided attention to your date. Almost 50% of It’s Just Lunch survey respondents mentioned this as being a surefire sign the date went well. This means big things like actively listening and engaging in the conversation and little things such as turning the cell phone off, or not being distracted by what’s going on around you. Remember, a little attention can go a long way. So ride that wave it and make your partner feel special. If the date is going well, they’ll return the favor.

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It's Just Lunch - A Match for Toronto Singles

Thank you, Toronto!

It’s Just Lunch, Toronto’s premiere professional matchmaking service, has won the Consumer Choice Award for Best Dating Service.

Created in 1987, the Consumer Choice Award gathers the opinions, perceptions and expectations through the responses of thousands of consumers and business across Canada.   The selection process has been perfect through a third party research firm to ensure that only the most outstanding service providers are the winners within an industry.   The Consumer Choice Award is the only organization that surveys both the consumer and business community with statistical accuracy.

This award is considered one of the best opportunities for a company since it shows the company’s dedication and drive to fill consumer’s needs at a higher level than their competitors.

And It’s Just Lunch delivers! The company helps thousands of professionals and executives, who have an otherwise difficult time finding time to meet people, feel comfortable with the dating process. What makes It’s Just Lunch so successful is their personalized matchmaking approach to dating.  Dating experts meet one-on-one with each client before arranging a casual lunch date or a drink after work with a possible match.   The focus is on the client and their relationship goals.  It’s Just Lunch works with the client’s schedule, picks the potential match and makes the reservations.  All the client has to do is show up and have a great first date.    The company strives to make what could be a frustrating process easy and simple.  

For more information about It’s Just Lunch in the Toronto area, visit www.itsjustlunchtoronto.com or call 416-703-3900. 

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20 Years of First Dates – Part 1: First Impressions

In honor of 20 years of setting up first dates between singles around the world, It’s Just Lunch Toronto, Canada recently produced a survey based on our experiences—trust us, we’ve had a lot! From first impressions, to chemistry, to timing, we’ll share our findings with you over the next few months and give you the inside scoop on tips that are timeless, tips that are played-out, and modern tips that may add a fresh edge to your love life. Enjoy!

Did you know that you have approximately 20 minutes to make a good impression – or avoid a bad one – on a first date? The reason is it takes about that much time for singles to decide whether or not to see someone again. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to pull out all the stops in the first 20 minutes in order to impress someone; however, it does mean that there are two little things you can do to give yourself an advantage and keep a date intrigued.

Ask Questions, Remember the Golden Rule
So what is a first date all about again? It’s a chance to get to know someone. And you certainly can’t get to know someone without asking questions. Therefore, don’t spend the whole date talking about you. It’s so easy these days to get bogged down in what’s going on in our own lives, that we don’t take time to sincerely ask what’s going on with other people’s lives. The key is, be self-aware; if you know you enjoy talking a lot, take a chance to shift the conversation. If you know you’re shy, then this is your chance to speak up. Confidence is key.

Also, there is nothing more unattractive than being rude or dismissive of those serving you coffee, lunch or dinner, driving you in a cab, and so on. Remember the Golden Rule when you’re out with a new companion; trust us, your date will notice and react positively.

Avoid Deal Breakers, Avoid Deals
According to another set of first impression criteria, It’s Just Lunch Toronto respondents came back at us with a few deal breakers that could derail the potential for a second date. Among them; answering a phone call or text, drinking too much, being late, and not having any interests in common. Unless it’s an absolute emergency, put the phone away during a date— you can’t get to know someone if your distracted by calls and texts. Keep the alcohol use to a minimum and don’t show up late (and whatever you do, do not show up late and drunk.) However the biggest deal breaker is, not surprisingly, a lack of common interests. Sometimes, you might find you don’t have anything in common with your date, and that’s ok. Relax, and don’t push it.

Also, a new trend in dating is deciding on whether or not to bring an online coupon, such as a Groupon or Living Social deal to a first date. Our advice? Ditch it. Only 20% of our respondents said it’s a smart idea. We agree with the majority that it looks both tacky and cheap.

So, Would You Like to Have Dinner Again…
You managed to avoid first impression pitfalls, had great conversation, and had a pretty good first date; so what next? Arranging date number two has often been the source of mystery and speculation, among both men and women, for a long time. On one hand you don’t want to seem to aloof, but on the other you don’t want to look desperate. We’ll cover the ins-and-outs of what makes a first date great later in our series, but the bottom line is: if you think a date went well, then simply call and ask for a second! The vast majority of Toronto respondents – 65% of them – said picking up the phone and asking is the best way to secure a second date. Also, the “wait two days rule” is very 1990s. Why not the next day? Now is as good a time as any.

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