The Honeymoon Phase: Slow Down to Go the Distance

Every little mannerism or thing she does is beyond adorable. Every statement he utters is worthy of a Nobel Prize. They're so wonderful, understanding, charming and miraculously you seem to agree on everything.

We've all been there. Welcome to the honeymoon phase. Many relationships start off peachy keen. It's a joyous time during those first three to six months. However, it may come to a grinding halt when you realize that perhaps you aren't a fan of sauteed mushrooms like she is or that he does have a habit of popping his knuckles at red lights.

Some relationships survive the end of the honeymoon period, others fall by the wayside. There's no need to feel bad if your coupledom didn't have the fuel for the long run and the relationship loses steam. Believe it or not, that how love works. Romantic love wasn't meant to last forever -- it's there to fire up the engines to assist in the matching process.

So, how can you survive this period and keep the love alive? Good question. The answer is to do novel things together. Novelty drives up levels of dopamine, a brain chemical that is associated with arousal, motivation and goal-orientated behavior . . . the stuff love is made of.

Just in case it does turn out to be a false start, pace yourself during the honeymoon stage. Don't spend every spare moment with your new crush. Your friends and family aren't there to fill in the gaps until that special someone comes along.

Remember, you are in the "getting to know" you stage. You might decide that this is not the right person for you and will have to return to your old single life. If you've blown off your friends and your work has suffered, don't expect to find things exactly as you left them.

Also, keeping your own life going while you are in the honeymoon courtship phase take the pressure off the other person to be your everything.

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Long Distance Detour: Why Love From Afar Could Bring You Closer

So you’ve just met your PERFECT Match (Thank you It’s Just Lunch®!). You two connected from day one, the dates are flowing like Champagne (the real good stuff from France), and you feel like the pace of your relationship is at the perfect speed for your life right now (no nauseating NASCAR thrill rides but definitely not stuck in the slow lane either).

In fact, it is going "pinch me great" until you turn the corner and find an unexpected detour sign that reads a lot like "Promotion: Prepare to Travel More & Longer." Drats.

More time on the road without you, ahead. 

Your wonderful (and successful) someone is going to be traveling a lot more. Cue the gritting of teeth and the Journey songs. But before you throw up your hands and start desperately looking for an off-ramp, here are some real Detour Details.

In the first 3 months of dating. 37% of couples can find themselves in some sort of long distance relationship (versus the disgustingly happy couples that live in the same town).

In the first 6 months, that number can reach 42%.

After 8 months, that number falls to 11%*.

The results of the complete study found that the staying power, of a compatible couple dealing with long distance, was just as strong as those couples who never were apart. So It’s Just Lunch® wants to let you know that long distance detours don’t mean the end of the dating road trip-just a change of scenery.

To keep the spark alive in your long distance relationship, here are a few tips:

Log Some Online Face Time
The benefits of video calling are well-known but setting aside time for a Cyber Date Night takes it above and beyond. Don't treat it like just a call. Take the time to interact with one another. Let there be pauses and the usual winding conversation that goes beyone what you did today and plans for tomorrow. It is the sharing, exploring that will help to cement the bond even from afar.

Emails, Texts
These are little things that can go the distance in telling your loved one that you miss them or are thinking about them.

Join Them For The Weekend
While you may not be able to travel for their entire trip, join them in the city for the weekend. Turn it into a couples retreat rather than just a business trip.

Make the Return Special
Plan something fantastic for the two of you to enjoy upon the other's return. This will give you both something to look forward to and plan. Anticipation ups the excitement ante.

Happy Dating!


*Study conducted by The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships

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Under Pressure: Why Singles Settle For "Not the One"

One of the most common dating mistakes singles make is putting too much pressure on themselves.

You're on a date.The conversation has been stilted. There was plenty of awkward silence. You don't necessarily feel the chemistry. There's nothing wrong with the other person but you can't shake the lukewarm feeling.

In fact, you had a bit more excitement on the last job interview. At least the other person asked you a question or two. Listened to your responses.

While it wasn't the date of your dreams, it's the only one you have been on in awhile. Since you weren't completely bored to tears, you accept their proposal for a second date.

WHY? 

Pressure. This happens a lot with people who don't have a lot of connection to other singles or those who are tiring of the dating scene and just want it done. They meet someone and think, "I've got to make this work. It could be six months before I find someone else even remotely interesting. I want to be off the market."

It's kind of like the seller who reduces the price on their home to get rid of it at a loss. Just like with the seller, the market will eventually change for you.

The key here is that you don't "settle" for "not the one" but take steps to change the market. Tell your friends, family that you are looking for someone. Widen your net. Seek opportunities to meet new people at classes, gallery openings or at film screenings.

For those who find the process a bit daunting, consider hiring a matchmaker to make the process a bit easier. They have plenty of singles in their database and you can relax, take the pressure of making something work.

Want to date without the pressure? Contact us at itsjustlunchtoronto.com or by phone at 1-416-703-3900.

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