Stepping Out of Your Dating Rut

The definition of rut is "a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change." A dating rut is like watching NASCAR, it feels like you are making laps with the same people.

There are moments of dating that the whole process seems difficult difficult lemony difficult. It's exhausting. You're spending more money on dates than you are on rent. I get it. We've all been there.

Like any good sporting or life coach will tell you, if something isn't working -- change it. The easiest areas of dating to alter is your attitude, the venue and your "type".

Change Your Perspective
Your dating life starts in your mind and gets reflected into your actual experiences. If you focus on the negative aspects of dating or your date for the evening, you will only ever see the negative. Try taking one positive aspect away from each date. It would also help to go into each encounter with a sense of adventure or excitement rather than dread and fear.

Change of Venue
Feel like you are doing the same thing over and over again? Whether it is the same pub, restaurant or neighborhood, shaking up your dating venue or activity can put a spark into the routine. Instead of meeting up for dinner, think about coffee or lunch. Personally, I think weekend brunch is the ideal. You have time to connect, can make it short and you still have the rest of your day.

Change Your "Type"
Obviously, everyone has preferences when it comes to their ideal mate. However, these preferences can be a bit limiting if they don't allow ourselves to explore new people or new ideas. Look beyond your normal (but within legal) age range. Date someone a bit shorter or outside of your profession. Give into impulse and accept that lunch offer from the delivery guy. Step out of your norm.

Dating is a numbers game. The more potential mates you meet, the more likely it is that you will find the one.

If something isn't working, change it. It's the only way something new will happen.