Find your dream date on the flip side!

As matchmaker, I am always amazed at how many women come in with a ‘list’ that begins with height – “He must be 6’ tall or more!” Plus, he must be confident, intelligent, successful, fun, great looking, and he Must Love Dogs!

But the average Canadian male is 5’9”. So right away these smart, savvy women are eliminating well over 50% of the available male population. In fact, only 14% of men are 6’ tall or taller. So Ladies, your 6’ rule eliminated 86% of your matches.

Now, I am known for my love of stylish shoes. My favourites just seem to come with 4-inch heels! And I know most women do like the idea that their man would still be a bit taller than them if they have their heels on. But the average Canadian woman is just 5’4”. So even with the 3” height enhancement of your rakish 4” stilettos versus the 1” heel of his typical male dress shoe, the average man would still be a comfortable 2 inches above ‘his woman’.

What’s more Ladies, there are some pretty hot guys your list would exclude! For fun, I took a look at CBC’s 2011 Top 10 Hottest Guy survey. And of those Ten Hottest Guys, guess how many were less that your 6’ rule?

Six!  That’s right…6 out of the 10 Hottest Men. 60% of the Best of the Best!

So come-on, would you really pass up a date with Scott Speedman, Allan Hawco, Jason Priestly, Seth Rogen, Sidney Crosby, or George Stroumboulopolis??? Not in this life. But yes Ladies, they are all shorter than 6’.  And your list excludes them.

And let’s check out Hollywood. Here are just some of the world’s most popular guys who measure 5’8” and under:

5’8”: Zac Efron, Mel Gibson, Jesse Bradford and Mark Walburg.

5’7”: Tom Cruise, Christian Slater, Ben Stiller, and Al Pacino

5’6”: Jack Black, Daniel Radcliffe, Elijah Wood, and Woody Allen

5’5”: Michael J Fox, Dustin Hoffman, Bruno Mars, and Hawaii 5-0’s Scott Caan (Dano)

And at 5’4”, some of the sexiest: Emilio Estevez, Richard Dreyfus, and James Cagney - #8 on the American Film Institute all time list of screen legends!

So what would I recommend? How about this as a start - Rip up your play list…and check out the flip side.  You will find a cornucopia of men…talented, witty, confident, hot, single, and they might even love Dogs! In most cases, they will still be taller than you, even with your heels on. And if they’re not, do you really care!

As Humphrey Bogart  (5’8”) once said, “Here’s lookin at you, Kid!”

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Dating Meets the Canadian Cold Season

With November coming, we Canadians can count on 3 things: shorter days, colder weather, and the dreaded cold and flu season! The cold remedy ads are already ramped up to full and one by one we see our colleagues fall to ‘the worst cold ever’…at least for a few days. And yes, it messes up a lot of well-laid plans - especially, if you are a matchmaker setting up first dates!

Unfortunately, we all only get one chance at a first date. What if this is THE ONE…and I am coming down with a brutal cold? Do I take a double dose of Cold FX and pray I will be “ok” or do I risk altering the universe by postponing my perfect date?

Those questions run through the minds of most single people this time of year. And yes, while it is never nice to have a bad cold, it’s a lot more comforting when you are in a stable relationship, and can count on your mate to see you through.

But, it is our reality…so as a professional matchmaker, here is my best advice!

 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That’s a good place to start.

• No one wants to catch a cold. And no one wants to go out with you if you are coughing, wheezing and sneezing.

• Most of us don’t like last minute cancellations.

• There is a tomorrow!

So the best plan is to contact your date as early as you can, and make an alternate arrangement.  Be sure they know you are disappointed!  Then, reconnect as soon as you are back on your feet.

But what if it hits you just as the date is about to start? That feverish flush, the tingling scalp… but they are already on their way.  Well, that is a tough call.  If it’s not too bad, maybe suggest a slightly quieter and relaxed venue. But if it’s really hitting you, then you will need to apologize, laugh about the misfortune, and stay in touch. The important thing is to be genuine, and ensure they know that you really did want to get together!

The other thing we Canadians know is that we will recover, the days will get longer, and hopefully your rescheduled date will go well!  Maybe next time your date can bring you some tea and a box of Kleenex!

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Is Our Dating Life Already Hardwired Into Us?

We attempt to program our lives all the time-we DVR our favorite shows so we can watch them whenever and where-ever we want. We bookmark our favorite websites so we can visit them more conveniently. We even have  the numbers of our friends and family programmed in our cell phones, so we can reach them with just a touch of a button and never have to remember the actual number. But, have we been doing this with our dating life as well?

A while back we at It’s Just Lunch® conducted several important surveys on dating, that covered major topics impacting men and women’s decision to date certain people, such as career, education, and money. The results produced quite a stir and brought up thought-provoking ideas from the psychological, sociological, and professional communities about how we “choose” our partners and how specifically men and women differ in this area.

In a recent Wall Street Journal Article discussing our survey, Psychiatrist Scott Carroll said that the emerging field of evolutionary psychology views "dating upward" as being in-bred in females. "Current scientific thinking is that women's tendency to seek more successful males is part of a genetic survival program. The exceptions to this rule are when women will seek either a physically dominant male for physical protection or a more nurturing male if the woman is more masculine and highly successful herself."

Lawyer and blogger Chaton Turner disagreed. She said, "I think that it comes from conditioning as opposed to genetics." She added that she had always bucked the trend; dating a variety of men regardless of age, height, and wealth. 

So, what do you think? Visit us on our Facebook page to join the conversation. 

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How do I get a date?

We can get a fabulous dinner easily enough...thank you Open Table!!! We can pick out the perfect car and get a great deal...thank you promotion at work. We even can get new living room furniture WITHOUT leaving the living room.

So, in this day and age of convenience and in a time in our lives when things are running just fine, why is it so hard to get a date?

The problem certainly isn’t that there AREN’T any potentials out there. We see plenty of attractive, well-dressed, successful looking individuals out there. So why don’t we get to meet them? The folks that we really want to meet that is, not the guy who still lives at home with his mom, or your friend’s trainer from the gym who is “really hot”. 

Now, more than ever it can be more difficult for successful people, particularly successful women, to find dates who measure up to their expectations. 

So how do we solve this dilemma? Well, at It’s Just Lunch Toronto, we’ve known how important it is to match our successful clients with quality individuals for more than 20 years. The secret of our success lies in knowing that creating lasting relationships is based on a date with someone who you really want to date again. So, let us set you up on a great date. All you have to do is just show up and enjoy. Mission accomplished. 

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Stopping to Smell the Roses

There sure is a lot of buzzing about online dating these days. The water-cooler which was once a glorious place to waste a few minutes of a very long day is now ruined with profile speak. Heck, you can’t even peacefully grind your teeth in the 10 items or less line without being subjected to a fascinating conversation about choosing the right “user name”. 

According to the commercials, featuring the most attractive people (models), with the whitest teeth you’ve ever seen (caps), there’s a hot model with perfect gums that practices your exact religion, subscribes to your favorite reading materials (Wow! They read too!), and is just waiting for you to jump online and find them. And if for some reason, you two don’t hit it off, there are 100 more just like them.

So does all this dental work live up to its promise? Are people really falling in love left and right like an episode of the Love Boat on ecstasy? 

According to a recent study*, what online dating has accomplished is a platform where  “romantic browsing triggers” happen. Instead of considering a potential partner on specific characteristics that would align with your true ideals, speedy decisions are made, based upon finding, “the best” profile, which of course includes a picture. This study found that when folks were faced with many profiles (up to 90), they made faster decisions, and wrote potentials off quicker, instead of weighing important information. These hasty decisions demonstrated that people forgot what they were really looking for in a mate. In contrast, those who had to select from say four people, considered real options, and complex information for a potential partner. This same study also found that going on a REAL date was more productive in truly getting to know someone, than just online chatting. 

The morale of the study? Take time to smell the roses! Focusing on what you want, going out on a date, and then deciding what comes next. We at It’s Just Lunch® are proud of our 20 years of dating success stories. No user names, no photos, ...ever. Just lunch with someone specifically matched to your interests and values.

*Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online dating: A critical analysis from the perspective of psychological science. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 13(1), 3–66.

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Is it just lunch or is it more?

As matchmaker, I often come across interesting studies that relate to the intricacies of dating and courtship. A recent study released by researchers at Cornell University really caught my attention…

The Researchers, Kevin Kniffen and Brian Wansink, were interested in the importance of what they refer to as ‘commensality’. Yes, I had to Google that, and it means ‘the practice of eating meals at the same table.’ They asked the question, “Does sharing food involve sharing more than just food?” And there answer was a resounding YES.

To investigate this, participants in their research study were asked to rate how jealous they (Study 1) – or their best friend (Study 2) – would be if their current romantic partner were contacted by an ex-romantic partner and subsequently engaged in an array of food- and drink-based activities. They consistently found – across both men and women – that meals elicit more jealousy than face-to-face interactions that do not involve eating, such as having coffee. These findings suggest that people generally presume that sharing a meal enhances cooperation. In the context of romantic pairs, they found that participants are attuned to relationship risks that extra-pair commensality can present. For romantic partners left out of a meal, they found a common view that lunch, for example, is not“just lunch.” In fact, knowing your partner is having lunch with an ex can trigger sexual tension!

Their tests found the lowest rated activity in terms of eliciting jealousy was email correspondence. A live phone chat was somewhat higher. The next step up was face-to-face interaction, over a coffee. But what was particularly interesting was the elevated jealousy recorded when the face-to-face meeting occurred over lunch, and involved eating a meal together, versus just consuming a beverage.

Now here is a fun part of their research report. They found it interesting that the world’s most successful non-internet dating service was called‘It’s Just Lunch’, and postulated that the implicit behavioural associations that relate to ‘communal preparation and consumption of food may impart an advantage to It’s Just Lunch’…as people intuitively know that there is more to this whole thing than just lunch!

Who knows if it does? But my two cents worth is that that Lunch is a great way to approach a first date. Because it is mid-day, it reduces the stress of ‘what to wear, and what to do after’. Because it typically has a time line of about an hour, it is a comfortable amount of time to get a solid first impression of someone you are meeting for the first time. And because you are in a public place, it gives you the opportunity see how a potential date interacts with others such as waiters, and so on and this always helps you gauge chemistry.

So my advice is to get out from behind your computer, put down your smart phones, and Do Lunch this summer with someone you find interesting. Maybe it will turn out to be more than just lunch!

But if you really like being behind your computer, you can read the full report at:http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0040445

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Geekology and Dating

Our gadget-obsessed, high-tech world has embraced the idea of “geek” as chic, whether it’s in television with hit shows like The Big Bang Theory or adding a pair of smart specs to your accessory bin.  But how does this trend translate into the dating world?
We discovered that the majority of people, 73% of men and 64% of women say nerdy qualities in a partner are cool, even normal for this day and age. But still, almost one out of four men and almost one out of three women think they would be turned off by someone who is a hard core geek.
It’s Just Lunch’s take: Intelligence is definitely sexy. Show your geeky side, but don’t let it dominate—unless perhaps you’re with a fellow geek. It’s one thing to flex your brain, but if it leads to awkward behavior then you’re doing it wrong.

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The Three-Day Rule is Outdated

There’s an interesting process that many of us go through when meeting someone for the first time on a date—almost like an internal checklist. Are they physically my type? Do they communicate well? What are they doing with their lives, and if so, are they happy doing it? But then come a laundry list of other attributes we may notice in the course of getting to know someone. How do intangibles fit into the dating equation?
In our latest It’s Just Lunch dating survey, we covered a select number of intangibles out of countless traits that people may possess based on recent trends we’ve noticed. Let’s dive in:

The “Text-Back”
There is an outdated mode of thinking called the “three-day rule” that often prevents men (or women) from calling after the first date for fear of seeming desperate. Our thoughts? If you enjoyed your date and want to see this person again, why not just communicate those thoughts? So, is a text to your date that evening after your first meet up appropriate, or just too soon?

A majority of both men (57%) and women (64%) said a text setting up a second date would be cute and they would gladly text back. In fact, 24% of men would call back if they received a text from a date; 13% of women were also inclined to call. Only 18% of men and 22% of women suggested a same-evening text might be a little “too soon.”

It’s Just Lunch’s take: If you enjoyed your date, why wait? But don’t abuse communication; a slew of texts could be a signal you are desperate.

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Ever thought of being a Matchmaker?

INSIDE SALES DIRECTOR

It’s Just Lunch Toronto, Canada’s Premier Matchmaking firm, is seeking focused candidates with a proven track record of success to grow with us in one of the most dynamic and fastest growing industries in the country. We are a dynamic and entrepreneurial organization with a nationally recognized brand featured in The Globe, Cosmopolitan Magazine, NPR and on the Canada AM as well as many others Our clients expect an energetic and “recruiter-minded” individual to offer expertise and guidance during the interview process, as well as provide a realistic picture of potential matches for them within our service. Our fast-paced environment requires multi-tasking skills and the ability to communicate effectively.

• Top candidates will be confident, organized, and enthusiastic about our concept.
• Demonstrated experience in professional sales with proven closing success in prospecting, relationship building and cold-calling.
• Able to target and develop clients through existing database and new lead contacts.
• Provide a consultative approach to meet with clients to evaluate their needs and recommend solutions to ensure expectations are being met
• Ability to flexibly manage time to maximize sales and accommodate clients needs which includes willingness to work extended hours
• Must have the ability to establish rapport with a wide variety of people.
• Exceptional verbal and written communication skills

If you are interested in applying for the Inside Sales Director position, send your cover letter and resume to date@ijlelite.ca with Ref: 2012SalesDirector in the subject headline

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IT'S RAINING MEN IN TORONTO!

Pay attention ladies!

Our Bachelor-47
Our client is a very focused, intelligent, successful gentleman with a great sense of style looking for an attractive and vibrant woman to share his exciting lifestyle. He loves to travel to Europe, the Caribbean or to escape for a weekend to an exciting city. He truly is a carpe diem type! He pursues many interests including golf, cycling, fitness, live theatre, and even shopping! He has seasons ticket to attend sports events. He does some wine collecting and has enjoyed wine tours in France and Napa. He loves entertaining and overseeing the decorating of his homes.
We are looking for an attractive, intelligent woman with a very positive disposition who values honesty and enjoys being spontaneous and trying new things. Age:33-45

Our Bachelor-44
This elite client is an exciting, dynamic and very successful owner of several companies looking for an attractive woman who is ready to enjoy the world and life at its best. He lives between Canada, Europe and the South and enjoys boating and flying, music from popular to opera, golf, tennis and skiing. This is a very exciting and well balanced man. He has high standards and respects those close to him. The person who can always be depended upon by friends. He has traveled to over 150 cities, collects wine and fine art, and is a huge basketball fan.
We are looking for a self-confident, sincere and attractive woman who is self-confident but grounded. Age-29-40, 5'-5'8"

Our Bachelor-40
Our exciting bachelor is a very successful entrepreneur with exotic look, artistic finesse and a full sense of European style. He has traveled all of Europe, the Middle East and Asia and lived in three countries. Enjoying the best in life, wine, theatre, skiing around the world, and boating he is an avid tennis player and accomplished pianist, this gentleman is definitely one of a kind!
We are searching for that model-attractive, fresh, vibrant, fit, positive-minded, who can picture herself living traveling and living this exciting lifestyle- age 24-32, 5'6" and taller

Our Bachelor- 39

Our bachelor is a very sophisticated and successful owner of global tech companies. He has lived in and traveled to several countries and holds property here and in the South. His interests are broad and cover music from popular to classical, dance, theatre, museums, and films. He loves golf and has golfed around the world. He has a very romantic side and a spontaneous boyish side. Very fit and health conscious he enjoys basketball, the gym, boating, race cars and motorbikes, but balances this with reading, fine dining, chess and keeping up with world events.
We are looking for a very attractive, slim, classic European style woman who has a natural wisdom, finesse and a good family background. She must be interested in creating an oasis and making a relationship the priority. Age- 29-36, 5'6"-6', brunette.

Our bachelor- 39
A successful entrepreneur and very fit our client has exceptional good looks, loves the outdoors and sport. He enjoys cooking and entertaining friends and family, has respect for family and friends. Balancing life between the city and a lake house, he loves tennis, sailing, skating, and golf. He loves to take off for weekends and vacations on short notice.
Our client is serious about meeting a very naturally attractive, fit, active young woman with marriage and family as a future priority. Someone with strength of character and integrity but still spontaneous, positive and open to adventure! Age 28-33, 5'9" -6" 

Want to date the ELITE? Send us a photo and a short bio to DATE@IJLELITE.CA

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