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Friday 30 March 2012

Success Story: Finding Her Soul Mate

It's Just Lunch matchmakers are responsible for thousands of second dates, long term relationships, engagements and marriages!  We have arranged over two million fun first dates in our 20 years and we love to hear when these introductions lead to something more. 

Our latest success story comes from Danielle in Vancouver. While she claims to be "picky", we like to think of it as searching for her soul mate.  Here's her story on how she found him:

____________________________

It's Just lunch has completely changed my life . My girlfriend told me to go on it since I don't like going to the bars and hate the pickup scene. I have been married before for 20 years and I knew I was really picky.

The staff at It's Just Lunch Vancouver made me feel really comfortable and they were so nice. I have never joined an agency before so I was a bit nervous but once I got there I was okay . For the first few months, I went on quite a few dates . . . The men were nice and professional, but I just felt it was not the right one until I met the man of my dreams.

We took it really slow and went on a few dates together. We had so much in common and had an amazing connection. We discovered we went to the same high school only two years apart, went to the same university and live only a few blocks away from each other.  It was weird we never crossed paths, but I do remember him in high school .

After our first kiss, we knew that we had found our soul mate. Now, it has been 5 years and we are very happily married. I never believed in soul mates before, but now I do. We are very much in love and have an amazing life together.

My advice for people that want to join It's Just Lunch is that it's the best thing that ever happened to me. I have never been so happy. Don't give up in finding someone right for you and its good to be picky. The girlfriend that told me about It's Just Lunch was also a member and she has been dating a man she met at (there) for 2 1/2 years. My dream came true and so can yours!

Thank you It's Just Lunch for everything you have done. 

Danielle

Tuesday 27 March 2012

Love at Third Sight?

Based on our last survey questions on sex, it’s interesting to ponder this question: what comes first, sex or love? There’s no doubt among your friends and family, two people met, fell right in love, and have lived happily ever after. It’s certainly a romantic ideal, but does it hold up in the 21st century?

Believe it or not, almost 75% of men say love at first sight still exists. Women are a little more skeptical, but a healthy 63% believe the same thing. Those romantic ideals don't translate when it comes to a question about marriage, with 56% of both men and women saying that tying the knot isn’t as important as it used to be.

Many men and women enter a first date looking to find that immediate connection. While it’s important to set expectations for yourself, it’s also nice to let loose and relax in the feeling that going out on a date is supposed to be fun. In order to do that, suspend your expectations and live in the moment on a date. You’ll find that by doing so, you’ll have more fun, exude confidence, and appear all the more attractive to that person sitting across from you.

Thursday 22 March 2012

Sex on the Brain

But what if you do click with your date? And by click, we mean chemistry, attraction, and connectedness seem to be firing on all cylinders between you and your date. Okay, so you certainly don’t have to worry about rejection; because what may be on your mind is sex.

Of course, sex is a tricky thing. Everyone wants it, but many people are hesitant to go for it on a first date even if all signs point to yes. Do women put off sex because they’re worried about being judged? Will a man judge a woman if they sleep together on the first date? According to our results, almost 60% of women avoid sex on the first date because they are worried about what a guy will think, and almost 80% of women think a guy will, in fact, draw conclusions about a woman if they end up sleeping together on a first date. A little more than half of men surveyed believe women put off sex because of judgments, but a little less than half of men would judge a woman if they slept together on the first date.

Clearly, there’s some miscommunication going on between both sexes when it comes to sex. What is clear is that you should be comfortable with who you are. Sure it sounds clichéd, but if you happen to be more sexual than your date and you are getting judged for that, then it probably isn’t meant to be. Also, if you are the type of person who holds off until you get to know someone better, then that is equally powerful in itself. Ultimately, dating is about being confident and finding chemistry with a partner. If any egregious judgments are passed throughout the course of a night that’s supposed to be fun, then you might be better off with someone else.

Tuesday 20 March 2012

Rejection, Sex, and Love

Take a moment and think back ten years ago to 2001. While cell phones were starting to skyrocket in popularity, not many people had the ability to check email or text on a minute-by-minute basis. That’s how far we’ve come in terms of inter-connectivity. In fact, the term “hyper-connectivity” tells a lot about our personal lives, and that includes dating. Bottom line: times have changed and our latest It’s Just Lunch dating myth survey results speak to just that.

Make the Call
Even though as a society we’re hyper-connected, ironically, it’s also easier to avoid direct contact. Whether it’s email, text, Facebook, or even through a tricky iPhone app, you don’t have to necessarily see someone you don’t want to see. However, just because we’ve outsourced our communication to gadgets, doesn’t mean we have to set aside politeness. Only 15% of both men and women said they would check email if they were bored on a date or didn’t feel like their date was a match.  Even more telling was how men and women deal with rejection. About one in three women would text or email a person to turn them down. Men seemed more likely to call, with one in four preferring a phone call as opposed to a text or email.

Tuesday 6 March 2012

Think Outside the Dating Box

You're a different person than you were during your last relationship.  Your dating preferences may have evolved as well.  The love of your life may be out there, but in a somewhat different form than what you previously imagined.  

One way to step outside of the dating box is to mentally update who you've become since your last round of dating.   Here are a few things to consider:
  • Why are you dating again? Are you looking for a long-term relationship or just testing the waters?
  • What do you have to offer that may be different from the last time you were dating?
  • Are there things you want to do differently?  
  • What do you hope to gain from meeting new people?
Once you have become current with yourself, it is time to look at what you want from a potential mate. There are several reasons to rule people out.  However, not everything you think is important is a deal breaker. 

Here's a way to test how strongly you feel about an issue in terms of your next relationship.  Ask yourself this:

If I met someone and I was attracted to them, and they made me feel truly loved -- would it matter that they were _____? (Fill in the blank with each of your parameters for ruling people out. 

You might be thinking, "Okay, but I could never be attracted to someone who was ______." 

That may be true.  But maybe not.

Some of the things you value the most may not be as important to you as it is to be truly loved. Perhaps the man of your dreams doesn't need to love animals as much as you.  Maybe she doesn't need to be willing to cook.  Maybe the two of you don't need to share identical spiritual beliefs and just respecting each other's point of view is enough. 

On the other hand, if you have a child who lives with you, it is important that you date someone who likes kids.  

Honor your deal-breakers, but test to see if they really are hard and fast rules. 

By staying open to a wider variety of people, you will open the door to date more.   Over and over again, the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch see that our clients that are willing to do this have the most matches, the best time and the greatest dating success.