Get Your Flirt on This Halloween

Could your future mate be behind that Jason mask? Is the Game of Thrones character your soul mate in disguise?

According to an It's Just Lunch survey, forty-six percent (46%) of singles think you can and that it is the perfect occasion to meet singles.

While getting fixed up by friends and co-workers or surfing dating sites is a traditional approach to finding a soul mate, stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying some new dating avenues (such as a Halloween bash) expands your possibilities and increases your confidence ten-fold.

So, how do you go about catching Little Red's eye? How do you strike up a conversation with the sexy vampire? You're in luck. Here are a few tips for getting your flirt on this All Hallows Eve:

1) Look for the Why & How
Flirting is about getting to know someone else. People love it when you ask questions that let them show you who they are. Most people will only inquire about the surface things, such as "Great costume." "Love the outfit." Take it a step further by asking them "why" they chose their costume or HOW they ended up coming up with that unique idea. It will add interest on their part and set you apart from the other party goers.

2) Tell It Like It Is
Being vulnerable and honest, even from behind the Jason mask, is the slam-dunk, sexiest thing a man or woman can be. Go beyond "It's just something I threw together" with "She was my favorite character in 'Firefly'. I admire her strength and sense of duty."

3) Listen Attentively
Being a good listener is a potent aphrodisiac and an excellent ingredient for weaving your magic. Everyon loves teh feeling of being full seen -- and heard.

4) Make Meaningful Eye Contact & Smile
This 1-2 punch transports these simple actions from the realm of friendship to the world of flirting. Let your eyes linger on his/hers while you are talking and smile.

5) Laugh
One of the best ways to demonstrate your sense of humor is by appreciating the other persons.

6) Be Enthusiastic
when flirting, you want the person you are flirting with to feel good about you and to experience you as a fun, happy, great-to-be-with person. Enjoy the encounter -- no matter what happens. If you seem like you're glad to be mixing and mingling with the creatures of the night -- they will be also.

7) Go In For The Lean
Lean forward to convey interest -- this is easy to do over the background noise of music and conversation.

8) Be Open and Accessible
Smiling and talking to various people (meaning: break free from your pack) sends the signal that you are approachable.

Above all else, have fun. You never know when cupid will strike. As long as you keep your expectations in check. Go with the intention of making a friend rather than expecting to meet your life partner. You'll have more fun and experience way less performance anxiety.

Happy Halloween!

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Second Chance: Why You Should Say "Yes" to A Second Date

So, the date is coming to a close and that confident, funny, super-sexy self that cruised through lunch just flew out the window.  At this point you are in one of three places:

• Excited and can't wait to see him/her again;
• You're convinced that this isn't the one for you;
• Or perhaps you're unsure.

If you're digging him/her, let them know and ask for the second date.  If not, this might be a great time to thank your date for a wonderful lunch and leave it at that. Tell them whether you're interested in seeing them again or not. Most people appreciate it when you speak your mind, but make sure you don't just dump your feelings on them. Be responsible and kind. 

But if you are on the fence after the first date, consider pursuing a second one. Some people, even though they try their best, just can't relax until the second date.  Or maybe last time they were having a bad day and you didn't get to see the absolutely charming individual they really are.  A lot of people suffer from first-date jitters. In fact, fear is the number one cause for first-date disasters and often leads to over-talking or out-of-character shyness.

Change things up for attempt number two with a round of golf, a bike ride or a game of tennis. A number of people find it easier to open up and connect with someone when they are moving around. 

Trust your instincts and you'll be surprised at how perceptive you really are when it comes to love.

An instinctive gut feeling can draw you to Mr. or Ms. Right, even if they don't match all your criteria on paper. You probably have friends who are with partners who you would never have thought they'd be with. What brings people like that together? They trusted their gut.

Basically, we all want the same things in a partner: honesty, trust, good communication, confidence, fun and understanding. If we can add chemistry to that -- then bingo!

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What Can Warm Your Heart This Fall

So Toronto...it seems like our Indian Summer has just about come to an end. And for many, the darker days of Fall are occupied closing up the cottage, putting away the summer lawn furniture. Part of life, but maybe not our fav moments. Its a time of year associated with a loss of energy and positivity. But if you are single...this can be the kiss of death. Everything can look dark...even your dating prospects. Fortunately, it does not have to be this way. Sometimes all you really need is a slight shift in how you look at life to experience significant improvement in your dating life, especially if your goal is making it past your first dates.

There is a widespread belief that energy flows where ever your attention goes. Similarly, attraction goes wherever positive energy flows. Think about it. If your attention is focused on what you do well and the things that make you happy, then you will be sure to attract someone with a similar disposition. Conversely, if your attention is focused on everything that is wrong with you, the people you end up dating, or the perhaps even the world itself, then you’re pretty much going to reap what you sow.

Your mindset alone can really dictate your dating experiences for the better for the worse. It’s the #1 factor you have 100% control over that can improve your dating life significantly. So I have come up with a few simple tips designed to help you experience a change in mindset for an improved dating life.

1. Choose to see the good in people.

Matchmakers and dating specialists alike have talked to and met with dozens of professional singles. It can sometimes be rather disturbing to hear how jaded people have become over their dating prospects. Stop obsessing over the mental checklist in your head and start focusing on all the things your date is doing right, regardless if you are attracted to them or not. Be sure to acknowledge that this person may not be for you, but appreciate their more admirable qualities and hope to find those same qualities in someone with whom you feel a stronger attraction for.

2. Accept that people aren't perfect.

No one is perfect--Not you nor your date, and certainly not your proverbial prince or princess. When singles adhere to a checklist of criteria, they tend to lose sight of what’s really matters the most. How does this person make you feel when you are around him or her? How do you make that person feel when he or she is around you?

Everyone has their quirks, but if you wanted to be treated the way you want to be treated, some quirks are worth all the love in the world while other quirks are really just red flags. Know the difference and draw your boundaries appropriately.

3. Infect people with your smile.

It’s a well known fact that people who wear a smile on their face are typically rated as more attractive than people who rarely sport a smile. While this may mostly be true among women, the opposite appears to be true among men. In fact, researchers at the University of British Columbia discovered that brooding men were found more attractive by women than happy, men. Go figure - maybe its related to the rain!

But guys, that doesn't mean you should start walking around with scornful faces. If you happen to see a woman you’re attracted to, don’t be afraid to at least flash her that sexy smirk of yours, especially if you hope to start a conversation with her. Plus, it’s let’s a woman know you’re still interested when she feels like she can make you smile.

And speaking of looking on the bright side, while it may be damp and cold...it sure makes cuddling up in front of a warm and inviting fire with a hot mocha seem like the perfect end to a great date!

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Featured Single: CEO Seeks High-Caliber Man to Round Out Life

It's Just Lunch Toronto is looking for a match for a a beautiful CEO of a successful company. She's educated, sophisticated and enjoys the finer things in life such as theatre and the opera.  She's comfortable at home in the country and in the city but has a fondness for Paris. She's has a big heart and is a loving mother.

She is interested in meeting a high-caliber man (45-58) who will fit into her lifestyle and circle of friends.

If you are seeking a serious relationship  and would be interested in meeting this amazing woman, please forward a short description of yourself and current photo to date@ijlelite.ca.

If you are selected you will be invited to the It's Just Lunch Toronto for a personal and confidential interview with one of our Toronto matchmakers. No charge to you as fees for this search have been paid for by our client. http://www.ijlelite.ca/

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Dating Advice from the 1930s

Recently, a 1938 guide to dating for single women appeared online. “Careless women never appeal to gentleman. Don’t talk while dancing, for when a man dances, he wants to dance,” advises the author.  In another statement, ladies were counseled, “Don’t tug at your girdle,” and “Men don’t like girls who borrow their handkerchief and smudge them with lipstick.”

Eye-opening? As long as men and women have co-mingled, there have been strong ideas on the do’s and don’ts of dating. Are yesteryear’s words to the wise still applicable in the here and now? Have we evolved?

Yes and no. Girdles and kerchiefs are clearly things of the past, but much more has changed since the retro era of the 30’s: defined gender roles have since dissolved, conventions loosened, and technology has altered the way that we relate and communicate with each other. Men and women, more or less, stand on equal ground on just about every front: professional, political, and personal, and increased mobility means that our populations are more diverse and multicultural than ever.

That said, no longer bound by hard and fast rules, the modern single has a tricky scene to navigate. Misunderstandings are more likely to abound. Despite our contemporary lifestyles, many of us still have the ultimate goal of achieving and maintaining a solid, traditional relationship.  How to strike a balance between the ever-evolving day to day with old-fashioned values?

The crux of our advice at It’s Just Lunch, focuses on human relations, regardless of gender.  What message are you sending when you’re making  (or avoiding) eye contact? What makes a good first impression? How do you set the scene for romance?  Whatever the era, there are some universal, common-sense rules to abide by. “Don’t drink too much,” advises the 1938 guide.  “Greet your date with a smile.” Though our daily lifestyles have evolved, courtesy and friendliness never change.

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