Three Tips on How to Talk Money

There’s no denying it: when it comes to dating, money matters, whether it’s small date expenditures or longer term investments. It’s a fact that many a dispute and divorce stem from the almighty dollar. But how soon is too soon to discuss dollars and cents with your partner, particularly when your relationship is just in its beginning stages?  Well, you may feel as if other people’s money is a touchy issue or plain none of your beeswax. But you won’t want to wait until you’re walking down the aisle to tackle the subject head on. Dating a financial deadbeat? Better to know sooner rather than later. If you're at a loss for words or unsure on how to go about it, here are three things to keep in mind.

Test the Waters. 
Start off by discussing general attitudes toward personal finances rather than specific situations. You can get an idea of your partner’s lifestyle, spending habits, and relationship towards money when talking about big-picture ideas instead of exact numbers. When your partner knows that you’re not putting his or her finances under the microscope, he or she will feel more open to the discussion and less on the defensive.

Talk about money before it’s a problem. 
When a conjugal life seems on the horizon, start discussing and planning solutions to different case scenarios before they actually arise. What would you do if your account is withdrawn or you’ve maxed out on your credit cards? What if you miss a mortgage payment? What are the advantages and disadvantages of setting up joint accounts? You’ll be able to discuss potential issues calmly and collectively when you’re not under the gun of actually having to deal with them.

Trust Your Instincts. 
Does he pick up the bill without looking at it? Does she wear designer labels while she’s living off a grad school stipend? Heed the warning signs. You don’t necessarily have to delve into credit scores to find out if he or she is financially responsible, but if your partner is asking you for a loan or you’re planning a big joint purchase, don’t be afraid to do your due diligence.

Read More

Dating Karma: Confidence is Key!

As in every aspect of our lives, what you put out there in the dating world is what you get back. Whether you buy into the principal or not, the idea behind karma makes sense. If you think you are too busy, too skinny, too overweight or too poor or too anything to attract a love match, chances are you probably won't.

If you believe there are only jerks, gold diggers, booty call seekers or crazies out there, these are probably the people you are most likely to attract. If you believe dating is a complete waste of time, it will be.

Negative thoughts have a way of manifesting themselves into our daily life. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So, how can we shift our Negative Nelly thoughts about ourselves or dating? You guessed it -- confidence! This positive energy produces the most amazing results because:

it allows you to relax and have fun;
Means you take rejection lightly and not personally;
and conveys you are content with yourself, your looks and life.

Try these six booster to improve your self confidence and dating outlook:

1) Compare Yourself to No One
Recognize that you are a hot ticket with a unique set of qualities and attributes. If you believe you are special, you will attract a partner who appreciates all that only you can offer the world. Tell yourself, "I'm great just the way I am" or "I'm exciting" or "I'm a gem." Why? Because you are. This self-talk will imprint a positive self-image in your mind that will change how you see the world -- and how the world sees you in turn.

2) Wrap Yourself In Love
Surround yourself with people who treat you with the love and respect that you deserve. Weave the nay-sayers or critical people out of your life. We all need a support group who are there to lift us up and help us see the possibilities within ourselves.

3) Take Action
If you're not happy with a particular part of yourself, take action to build confidence. Perhaps it is a new gym membership or getting some advice on a new article of clothing that fits just perfectly. This could just be a tiny step, but a huge jump in your confidence.

4) Try Something New
Over time, our habits start creating ruts in our life. Step outside of those ruts and push your boundaries. Join Toastmasters, take a dance class or try improv. By pushing through your fears and stepping outside the box, you'll find yourself reaching further than you thought possible. And making a few friends along the way.

5) Say "Yes" to the Date
As you handle all the different situations you come across, you will develop a better understanding of you and want you want in a partner. It is easy to go into dating with this pre-defined image of "The One," but that may change as you forge ahead on your path to love. The more you date, the more you learn and the better at the process you will become.

In the end, everybody can use a little personal development in the self confidence area. Nobody's perfect and no one ever will be. The best way to approach this is finding a balance between being all that you can be and your willingness to accept you just the way you are.

Read More

Debunking the Free Lunch - The Real Cost of Online Dating

The numbers are staggering. Over 40 million American Singles have searched for dates online in the last year. That’s 4 out of every 5 singles. And the average online dater now invests 12 hours per week in their online searches.  Five hours searching for matches, and seven hours attempting to connect and arrange a real date. This has propelled Online Dating into the #3 position in the ranking of heaviest uses of our beloved Internet. That surpasses the perennial leader – Porn, and places behind only music downloads and gaming. And the trends in Canada are similar.

Seeing these stats, I went online to learn more…and here is what I found. An online poll hosted by Plenty of Fish reported that it took the average online dater six hours of work to yield a first date – usually for coffee. And was it a match made in heaven? Unfortunately…no. In most cases the respondents were disappointed. Most often they found that the person who showed up for coffee did not closely resemble the visual image that they fell for. And the profile that they gushed over was somewhat overstated.

So while it is all the rage, online dating consumes a significant amount of time. And despite the diligence you might put into searching, responding and connecting…the end result is only as good as the accuracy and insight reflected in the profiles and pictures that you are searching through. Therein lies the challenge. It is a bit of a wild west…where the most appealing combination of picture and prose yields the responses. But once two people meet, the lack of accuracy often leads to disappointment. And overtime, disenchantment with the whole process of dating. Wasn't dating supposed to be fun?

But let’s get back to the cost. Online dating services ranges from free to  $200-$300 per year in fees. But for anyone who values their time, there are significant additional opportunity costs. A US study in the San Francisco Bay area estimated the total costs. They looked at the number of hours invested on average to get a third date. Their research indicated that on average, it required 6 hours to get a first date. On average five 1st dates led to just one 2nd date. In turn, five 2nd dates led to one 3rd date. All tallied that is twenty-five 1st dates and five 2nd dates to get that elusive 3rd date. They used the average hourly salary in the Bay area ($28US) as a proxy for the Opportunity Cost. So each first date had an ‘opportunity cost’ of 6 hours @ $28 or $168, plus $7 for coffee and croissants. That’s $175 each. Across 25 first dates, that adds up to a whopping $4375. Then they calculated the time to reconnect and set up five 2nd dinner dates at 1 hour each, plus an average dinner cost of $50. That is $78 for each 2nd date, across five dates…or $390. So the ‘real investment’ was estimated to be $4,765… if you value your time at $28 per hour. Ouch!

But what if your time is really worth $100 per hour. Then the investment jumps astronomically to $16,000. Quadruple Ouch.

And by that point, I think you would be wise to find a more time and cost-effective way to meet your match. Consider outsourcing the task to a professional matchmaker with a large database, experience in matching people and personal insight into each person they introduce you to.

If you value your time…there is no such thing as a free lunch!

Read More

Get Your Flirt on This Halloween

Could your future mate be behind that Jason mask? Is the Game of Thrones character your soul mate in disguise?

According to an It's Just Lunch survey, forty-six percent (46%) of singles think you can and that it is the perfect occasion to meet singles.

While getting fixed up by friends and co-workers or surfing dating sites is a traditional approach to finding a soul mate, stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying some new dating avenues (such as a Halloween bash) expands your possibilities and increases your confidence ten-fold.

So, how do you go about catching Little Red's eye? How do you strike up a conversation with the sexy vampire? You're in luck. Here are a few tips for getting your flirt on this All Hallows Eve:

1) Look for the Why & How
Flirting is about getting to know someone else. People love it when you ask questions that let them show you who they are. Most people will only inquire about the surface things, such as "Great costume." "Love the outfit." Take it a step further by asking them "why" they chose their costume or HOW they ended up coming up with that unique idea. It will add interest on their part and set you apart from the other party goers.

2) Tell It Like It Is
Being vulnerable and honest, even from behind the Jason mask, is the slam-dunk, sexiest thing a man or woman can be. Go beyond "It's just something I threw together" with "She was my favorite character in 'Firefly'. I admire her strength and sense of duty."

3) Listen Attentively
Being a good listener is a potent aphrodisiac and an excellent ingredient for weaving your magic. Everyon loves teh feeling of being full seen -- and heard.

4) Make Meaningful Eye Contact & Smile
This 1-2 punch transports these simple actions from the realm of friendship to the world of flirting. Let your eyes linger on his/hers while you are talking and smile.

5) Laugh
One of the best ways to demonstrate your sense of humor is by appreciating the other persons.

6) Be Enthusiastic
when flirting, you want the person you are flirting with to feel good about you and to experience you as a fun, happy, great-to-be-with person. Enjoy the encounter -- no matter what happens. If you seem like you're glad to be mixing and mingling with the creatures of the night -- they will be also.

7) Go In For The Lean
Lean forward to convey interest -- this is easy to do over the background noise of music and conversation.

8) Be Open and Accessible
Smiling and talking to various people (meaning: break free from your pack) sends the signal that you are approachable.

Above all else, have fun. You never know when cupid will strike. As long as you keep your expectations in check. Go with the intention of making a friend rather than expecting to meet your life partner. You'll have more fun and experience way less performance anxiety.

Happy Halloween!

Read More

Second Chance: Why You Should Say "Yes" to A Second Date

So, the date is coming to a close and that confident, funny, super-sexy self that cruised through lunch just flew out the window.  At this point you are in one of three places:

• Excited and can't wait to see him/her again;
• You're convinced that this isn't the one for you;
• Or perhaps you're unsure.

If you're digging him/her, let them know and ask for the second date.  If not, this might be a great time to thank your date for a wonderful lunch and leave it at that. Tell them whether you're interested in seeing them again or not. Most people appreciate it when you speak your mind, but make sure you don't just dump your feelings on them. Be responsible and kind. 

But if you are on the fence after the first date, consider pursuing a second one. Some people, even though they try their best, just can't relax until the second date.  Or maybe last time they were having a bad day and you didn't get to see the absolutely charming individual they really are.  A lot of people suffer from first-date jitters. In fact, fear is the number one cause for first-date disasters and often leads to over-talking or out-of-character shyness.

Change things up for attempt number two with a round of golf, a bike ride or a game of tennis. A number of people find it easier to open up and connect with someone when they are moving around. 

Trust your instincts and you'll be surprised at how perceptive you really are when it comes to love.

An instinctive gut feeling can draw you to Mr. or Ms. Right, even if they don't match all your criteria on paper. You probably have friends who are with partners who you would never have thought they'd be with. What brings people like that together? They trusted their gut.

Basically, we all want the same things in a partner: honesty, trust, good communication, confidence, fun and understanding. If we can add chemistry to that -- then bingo!

Read More

What Can Warm Your Heart This Fall

So Toronto...it seems like our Indian Summer has just about come to an end. And for many, the darker days of Fall are occupied closing up the cottage, putting away the summer lawn furniture. Part of life, but maybe not our fav moments. Its a time of year associated with a loss of energy and positivity. But if you are single...this can be the kiss of death. Everything can look dark...even your dating prospects. Fortunately, it does not have to be this way. Sometimes all you really need is a slight shift in how you look at life to experience significant improvement in your dating life, especially if your goal is making it past your first dates.

There is a widespread belief that energy flows where ever your attention goes. Similarly, attraction goes wherever positive energy flows. Think about it. If your attention is focused on what you do well and the things that make you happy, then you will be sure to attract someone with a similar disposition. Conversely, if your attention is focused on everything that is wrong with you, the people you end up dating, or the perhaps even the world itself, then you’re pretty much going to reap what you sow.

Your mindset alone can really dictate your dating experiences for the better for the worse. It’s the #1 factor you have 100% control over that can improve your dating life significantly. So I have come up with a few simple tips designed to help you experience a change in mindset for an improved dating life.

1. Choose to see the good in people.

Matchmakers and dating specialists alike have talked to and met with dozens of professional singles. It can sometimes be rather disturbing to hear how jaded people have become over their dating prospects. Stop obsessing over the mental checklist in your head and start focusing on all the things your date is doing right, regardless if you are attracted to them or not. Be sure to acknowledge that this person may not be for you, but appreciate their more admirable qualities and hope to find those same qualities in someone with whom you feel a stronger attraction for.

2. Accept that people aren't perfect.

No one is perfect--Not you nor your date, and certainly not your proverbial prince or princess. When singles adhere to a checklist of criteria, they tend to lose sight of what’s really matters the most. How does this person make you feel when you are around him or her? How do you make that person feel when he or she is around you?

Everyone has their quirks, but if you wanted to be treated the way you want to be treated, some quirks are worth all the love in the world while other quirks are really just red flags. Know the difference and draw your boundaries appropriately.

3. Infect people with your smile.

It’s a well known fact that people who wear a smile on their face are typically rated as more attractive than people who rarely sport a smile. While this may mostly be true among women, the opposite appears to be true among men. In fact, researchers at the University of British Columbia discovered that brooding men were found more attractive by women than happy, men. Go figure - maybe its related to the rain!

But guys, that doesn't mean you should start walking around with scornful faces. If you happen to see a woman you’re attracted to, don’t be afraid to at least flash her that sexy smirk of yours, especially if you hope to start a conversation with her. Plus, it’s let’s a woman know you’re still interested when she feels like she can make you smile.

And speaking of looking on the bright side, while it may be damp and cold...it sure makes cuddling up in front of a warm and inviting fire with a hot mocha seem like the perfect end to a great date!

Read More

Featured Single: CEO Seeks High-Caliber Man to Round Out Life

It's Just Lunch Toronto is looking for a match for a a beautiful CEO of a successful company. She's educated, sophisticated and enjoys the finer things in life such as theatre and the opera.  She's comfortable at home in the country and in the city but has a fondness for Paris. She's has a big heart and is a loving mother.

She is interested in meeting a high-caliber man (45-58) who will fit into her lifestyle and circle of friends.

If you are seeking a serious relationship  and would be interested in meeting this amazing woman, please forward a short description of yourself and current photo to date@ijlelite.ca.

If you are selected you will be invited to the It's Just Lunch Toronto for a personal and confidential interview with one of our Toronto matchmakers. No charge to you as fees for this search have been paid for by our client. http://www.ijlelite.ca/

Read More

Dating Advice from the 1930s

Recently, a 1938 guide to dating for single women appeared online. “Careless women never appeal to gentleman. Don’t talk while dancing, for when a man dances, he wants to dance,” advises the author.  In another statement, ladies were counseled, “Don’t tug at your girdle,” and “Men don’t like girls who borrow their handkerchief and smudge them with lipstick.”

Eye-opening? As long as men and women have co-mingled, there have been strong ideas on the do’s and don’ts of dating. Are yesteryear’s words to the wise still applicable in the here and now? Have we evolved?

Yes and no. Girdles and kerchiefs are clearly things of the past, but much more has changed since the retro era of the 30’s: defined gender roles have since dissolved, conventions loosened, and technology has altered the way that we relate and communicate with each other. Men and women, more or less, stand on equal ground on just about every front: professional, political, and personal, and increased mobility means that our populations are more diverse and multicultural than ever.

That said, no longer bound by hard and fast rules, the modern single has a tricky scene to navigate. Misunderstandings are more likely to abound. Despite our contemporary lifestyles, many of us still have the ultimate goal of achieving and maintaining a solid, traditional relationship.  How to strike a balance between the ever-evolving day to day with old-fashioned values?

The crux of our advice at It’s Just Lunch, focuses on human relations, regardless of gender.  What message are you sending when you’re making  (or avoiding) eye contact? What makes a good first impression? How do you set the scene for romance?  Whatever the era, there are some universal, common-sense rules to abide by. “Don’t drink too much,” advises the 1938 guide.  “Greet your date with a smile.” Though our daily lifestyles have evolved, courtesy and friendliness never change.

Read More

Take Back Your Lunch Hour

Once a revered staple of the working day, "lunch hours" have become a relic of the past. Lost are the days when employees would leave a note on their chair saying "Out to Lunch."  Sadly, these breaks from the office have been replaced with meals eaten at the desk with our eyes glued to our Blackberries or computer screens.

According to a 2012 survey of North American works by Right Management, only one in five workers reported taking a real break for lunch. Thirty-nine percent of employees say they lunch at their desk. But 28% report seldom taking any break whatsoever. All in all, 81% are not taking what used to be considered a real lunch break.

“We might infer that far fewer employees are feeling comfortable enough with their work loads and demands to actually take time away to enjoy breaks for meals,“  said Michael Haid, Senior Vice President for Talent Management at Right Management in a press release. “This is yet another warning sign of the relentless stress experienced by workers in the U.S. and Canada. Of course, they may have lunch, but it doesn't constitute a real break from work as they must also monitor the phone and email or do any number of other work related tasks while eating.”

Skipping your 60 minutes away from the desk may actually make your life harder. Afternoon energy levels wane, resulting in decreased mental acuity and lower levels of productivity. Sure, in today’s competitive work place, the pressure is on to deliver results in volume and speed, but since when has the fear of lagging behind the pack overcome the basic and healthy need of having a midday meal?

Fact is, though employer and client demands may seem pressing, you can’t afford not to have lunch. A noontime pause is a good time to recalibrate and fine tune other areas of your life. You can reap the benefits, both professionally and personally, from a bit of mental and physical refreshment.

So, how can you take back your lunch hour? Here are a few ideas:

HAVE A PLAN
You don't take a vacation or go into the weekend without an idea of what you may want to do, do you? Approach you time away from the desk in the same manner. Making a plan for meal time will ensure that you don't default to a ham & swiss a la cubicle.

CONNECT FACE-TO-FACE
The great part about lunch time is that everyone should take one. Use your 60 minutes to connect with friends, family or even a possible date. These human encounters have become increasingly valuable in our digital world. Do you want to get to know your colleague better? Ask him for coffee and sandwiches at a nearby café. What about the acquaintance that has romantic potential? Dine her at the trattoria around the corner.

Intimate yet informal, lunch is a session that’s long enough to build bonds, yet short enough to fit easily into your schedule.  And yes, those 45 minutes to an hour be yond the cubicle walls can make a big difference when it comes to relationships—platonic, romantic, business, and otherwise. So go ahead, reach out, and pencil in a lunch date.

OR CONNECT WITH YOURSELF
According to a Huffington Post article, "LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner finds time every day to do nothing. And as one of the most powerful executives in the tech world, it's certainly not because he isn't busy: Weiner says that leaving gaps in his schedule is the "single most important productivity tool" he uses."

In fact, in a blog post by Weiner, he states "That thinking, if done properly, requires uninterrupted focus; thoroughly developing and questioning assumptions; synthesizing all of the data, information and knowledge that's incessantly coming your way; connecting dots, bouncing ideas off of trusted colleagues; and iterating through multiple scenarios. In other words, it takes time. And that time will only be available if you carve it out for yourself." Take time out of your day to connect, process and de-stress.

So, the next time noon rolls around, I challenge you to step away from your desk and do something non-work related. Get in touch with others or yourself. Make your break count and see how it will add a bit more energy or spark to your work day.


Resources:

• Right Management Lunch Survey
• Huffington Post: Why LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner Makes Time to Do Nothing
• LinkedIn: The Importance of Scheduling Nothing 

Read More

Have Them at Hello - Conversation Starter Tips

"I like men with quick wit, good conversation and a great sense of humour. I love banter. I want a man to like me for me - I want him to be authentic." -- Emma Watson 

You spot someone across the room, your eyes lock, you feel a little giddy and there's a sense of excitement in the air. What do you do?

Walking up to a total stranger and starting a conversation can be terrifying. Learning to overcome your fears and approaching the person who caught your eye is worth the risk. Remember, more often than not, they have the same fears as you. Someone has to break the ice.  Why can't it be you?

Here are a few ways to initiate banter with someone of interest without running the risk of blatant rejection:

1) Incorporate elements from your surroundings
Observe what is going on around you as a launching point. Ask the person what inspired them to take the class or if the #20 is always this crowded at this time of night.

2) Pay them a compliment
"I love your tie/jacket/ring" and then tell them why you like it: "It reminds me of . . . "  The best way to get them involved, ask a follow up question: "Is purple your favorite color?"

3) Ask questions that interest you. 
Ask the person of interest a question that popped into your head or that you are wondering about that goes beyond the time. Trust your gut, go with your instincts and be authentic.

When there is someone you really want to talk to but are at a loss for words, just remember that you can never go wrong asking someone a question or paying someone a compliment. When you start a conversation with someone, your primary goal should be to assess how the person interacts with you and whether you should continue to engage them in conversation or move on to someone else more likely to engage you in conversation.

No matter how much you stammer or stumble at the beginning, you will do 100% better than those who do nothing at all.

What are some other ways you've tried to start a conversation with someone? Send us a message on Facebook to share your story or ask us your dating questions.

Read More

Date Tips: Top Picks for Italian

There's nothing more romantic than Italian food.
-- Elisha Cuthbert

Most of us would agree.  According to a recent It's Just Lunch survey, Italian takes first place for top cuisine choices on the first date with 46% of the vote.  At 19%, steakhouses came in second, followed by Japanese (16%), Mexican (11%) and French (8%).

Since many dates start with deciding where to meet, it is a good idea to have a restaurant of choice ready to offer for the "Where?" discussion.  We know you're busy. So, here are a few of our cheat sheet of top Toronto Italian restaurants:

1)Carisma
416-864-7373 | www.carismarestaurant.com
An elegant restaurant that prides itself on offering deliciously authentic Italian food.

2) Eatalia
416-977-1234 | www.eatalia.ca
Situated in the architectural wonder of a 20th century bank, Eatalia is a dining destination that matches its exclusive clientele in levels of charm, style and good taste.

3)Obikà Toronto
416-546-1062 | obika.ca
Obikà centers its offering on the Mozzarella di Bufala Campana DOP, together with the research of recipes and artisanal products typical of the Italian tradition and characterized by very high quality.

4) Vibo
416-239-1286 | www.vibo.ca
Rich in tradition while modern in approach, Vibo strikes a harmonious balance between authentic Italian flavours and contemporary cuisine and changes to reflect what is fresh and in season.


So, what's your favorite date food? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Read More

Dating Tips: Traveling Experiences Increase Attractiveness

If your love life isn't what you thought or hoped it would be at this time in your life, then perhaps a trip abroad could be just the thing you need to reclaim your biggest source of happiness--YOU!

In much the same way you enjoy spending quality time with your family, friends and loved ones, it is also just as important to spend some quality time with yourself, and beyond the borders of your shower or car. Besides, professional singles who love to travel are a hot commodity on the dating market these days, especially for those using dating services like It's Just Lunch.

There is definitely a certain allure that comes from being a well-traveled professional single. In fact, a recent survey conducted by an Aussie dating website revealed that singles who mentioned traveling on their profile were rated as more attractive than those who didn't. It's a notion that makes a lot of sense considering most people who do a bit of traveling tend to have an adventurous side that others find most attractive, especially for those who find the routine monotony of their lives less than adventuresome.

There are, of course, other benefits to traveling besides being found much more desirable to the opposite sex. Traveling is a great way for professional singles to disconnect from their regular life and relax. Some of the greatest epiphanies about  your life or career can happen when you're disconnected from it all and seeing things from an alternate perspective.  In fact, another benefit of traveling is that every new experience increases your resourcefulness. Your experiences with traveling can help you become  more resilient and make it easier for you to overcome adversity.

Perhaps one of the biggest benefits of traveling, however, is personal development. Being able to travel the world and learn about other cultures helps singles grow in more ways than one. It can improve their personal lives through the forging of new lifelong friendships. It can improve their professional lives by improving their communication and language development skills. It can sometimes even improve their love lives through a chance meeting with another wondering soul.

Are you a solo traveler? Where have you traveled? Where would you like to travel? Share your ideas in the comment section below!

Read More

Featured Single: European Gent Seeks Travel Companion

Travel? Adventure? At a moment’s notice? If this sounds like a dream come true, you should meet our Toronto-based client.

This early-forties dashing European CEO with three children loves the finer things in life. He’s keen on travel, loves red wine and won’t pass up a good cigar.

We are searching for a fit, attractive voluptuous woman over 5’6″ who has a flexible schedule that could accommodate traveling. Our client would also prefer someone who isn't looking to have more children.


Does the above describe you? If so, we would love to hear from you. Please visit our DATE THE ELITE page on our sister IJLElite.ca site and fill out and submit the confidential form online, including photos.

Read More

It's Just Lunch Celebrates 22 Years!

Its Just Lunch is celebrating its 22nd year in business this month. It doesn't seem possible! Thanks to all of our clients and employees for helping us reach this milestone!

And to think that it all started with one woman in 1991 who found herself single again after being in a long term relationship that ended when her engagement was suddenly called off. Determined to move forward with her life, she proceeded to start the dating process all over again to meet someone "normal" who was an educated, working proessional singles like herself. She posted personal ads, was set up by friends and even considered video dating services, but none of these options really felt ccomfortable to her. She decided that the best way to meet people was the "old-fashioned" way of meeting someone in the flesh where she could properly assess their chemistry; and she found that the the best way to do that was through lunch dates and drinks after work.

It started as a seemingly simple concept implemented from one location in Chicago and has since grown to more than 150 cities across the globe with locations in the United States, Canada, Europe, Asia and Australia. We can't believe we've grown to become the largest personalized dating service in the world and we owe it all to our clients and employees who helped make it possible for us to still be around after all these years. 

From day one, we believed the best way for singles to meet was face to face, which is exactly why we meet all of our client face to face and set them up on stress free lunch dates or drinks after work where they can meet other like-minded professional singles face to face. 

Read More

Calling vs Texting: Why Singles Text Despite Preference to Pick Up Phone

Technology has no doubt greatly shifted the landscape of dating as we know it. In fact, texting has become the new first step in dating. Despite this growing trend, most professionals singles still prefer the old-fashioned way of communicating with someone they are interested in with an actual phone call. But if so many singles prefer calling versus texting, then why are those same singles more likely to text someone first than to call them first despite their preferences?

 

 It’s Just Lunch offers some insight into the calling vs. texting debate:

Convenience. For professional singles who lead very busy lives, texting is a matter of convenience because it allows them to multi-task. They can send a text message while they are keeping busy at work, going out to lunch or heading toward the gym. It’s a quick and easy way to start a conversation.

Intimidation. When it comes to shy singles, texting creates a comfortable barrier between themselves and the person they may be too shy to connect with on a personal phone conversation. There’s also less pressure to be witty or quick on your feet when you have time to think before you text.

Fear of Rejection. Some singles, especially the younger generations of singles, are more likely to text someone first after swamping numbers because they can avoid blatant rejection. Getting turned down via text isn’t so bad compared to getting turned down over the phone. Additionally, some singles are easily discouraged by an unanswered or unreturned phone call.

Icebreaker. Other singles use texting as a strategic first move to help break the ice before placing the phone call. The rationale behind the icebreaker text is that it increases the probability of having your phone call answered by re-establishing the initial connection that instigated the phone number swap in the first place.

What about you? Do you prefer calling or texting? Does your actual behaviour reflect that preference? Now that you know more singles prefer calling over texting, how likely are you to change your dating behavior? What are your thoughts about dating and technology? Share your thoughts in the comments below . . . or on our FACEBOOK page 

Read More

Professional Singles and Attraction

How many dates does it usually take for you to decide whether you are attracted to someone or not? It’s Just Lunch asked its Facebook community of professional singles and the answers varied between one and three dates.

Here at It’s Just Lunch, we realize that attraction plays a huge role in the chemistry of dating. In fact, when it comes to determining romantic chemistry, most of the busy professional singles we work with focus very heavily on physical attributes, especially those who look 10 years younger than their actual age as well as those with a strong commitment to fitness and health. It’s only natural to want to be matched up with someone who looks as good and fit as yourself.

The problem with this kind of attraction, however, is that it doesn’t take into account the kind of attraction that is built over a period of time the more you get to know someone. Since time isn’t exactly a luxury for busy singles dating, there are actually a few body language tricks you could use to create instant attraction with someone you are really interested in.

#1) Always smile. Smiles are almost as contagious as sneezes and lets your date know that you are friendly and inviting. Even if you aren’t sure what to say, a smile can go a long way letting your date know that you’re having a great time and enjoy their company.

#2) Keep an open posture. Good body language conveys more than just confidence. It also conveys interest. Are your shoulders and feet facing your date or the door? Are you arms crossed or resting comfortably at your sides? Pay attention to message you’re sending with your body.

#3) Maintain eye contact. Some say that the eyes tell no lies. You can make your date feel uneasy if you’re looking everywhere in the room but at him or her, or you can signal your attraction to your date with a lingering gaze.

#4) Mirror their body language. You can put your date at ease by mimicking their tone of voice or their body language to create an illusion of being in tune with each other. It’s a great way to build rapport with someone new making it easier to connect and communicate.

In general, just be mindful of the way you communicate with your date. Only a small percentage of communication occurs through the words we speak. More than half of all the talking is actually done with your body.

Read More

Valentines Day – Past and Present

Just 3 days to go until the most romantic day of the year! As a matchmaker I thought it might be interesting and fun to look back at the history of this foundation of our Romantic traditions.

Valentines day is named after St Valentine…but there were actually a few who went by this name. The first was Valentine of Terni, a Bishop who was martyred during the reign of Emperor Aurelian in AD 197. The second and more revered was Valentine of Rome, who was also martyred in AD 269. I feel somewhat more connected to him, having visited Santa Maria in Cosmedia in Rome where his skull is kept, adorned by a flower.

I don’t know about you, but so far it seems like a huge leap from martyrdom to the traditions related to love and romance of today’s Valentines Day.

So here is the chronology, as I see it. Valentine of Rome was a Priest, dedicated to his work, providing support and comfort to early Christians by providing holy sacraments to them, including marriage. At that time, most Roman soldiers were prohibited from marriage, as it might distract their devotion to war. So Valentine of Rome would cut hearts out of parchment, and give them to his followers as a sign of love.

The evening before his execution, Valentine wrote the first Valentine Card…from himself, to the daughter of his Jailor. She had been blind, but had regained her sight, ostensibly as a result of prayers and hope.

But there was nothing tremendously romantic for many hundreds of years, until in far away England in 1382, a medieval Poet named Geoffrey Chaucer wrote the following in his book, Parlement of Foules:

“For this was seynt Volantynys day Whan euery biyrd comyth there to chese his make”. (“For this was on Saint Valentine’s Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate). Chaucer wrote this to honour the 1^st anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia. And as a footnote, here’s a fact today’s parents will cringe at - they were ultimately married at only 15 years of age!

But why February 14^th? Well, as most things from history, it may trace to a mix of old traditions and nature. The Ancient Romans celebrated a right of fertility each year between February 13-15. And separately, in Chaucer’s England, Feb 14 was a prime season for Birds to mate. Throw all of this together, and what we have is a the most romantic of days, named after a martyred Saint who began the practice of cutting out hearts from early versions of paper. A romantic poem celebrating mating season and a royal engagement, the Roman God of Love, Cupid, and 650 years of social and commercial embellishment…and there you have it. Valentines Day 2013.

But for most of us, the bigger question looking ahead is what to make of Valentines Day?

As a matchmaker, I can weigh in with some sage advice.

If you are in a relationship, or married:

• ·      Remember it!
• ·      Plan something fun and romantic.
• ·      Take the time to enjoy the day with the one you love.
• ·      Women do love flowers…and a special dinner.
• ·      And Men seem to be very happy with a card and a kiss like you mean it!

And, if you are single…don’t despair! Yes, this may seem like one of those awful days that you just need to survive. Restaurants filled with happy couples, as you shuffle off to the Fitness Club. But, remember, love could be right around the next corner for you. So take the time to have a look. Say hello to an attractive stranger in your coffee shop.  And just maybe Saint Valentine, or even Cupid may be watching. And if that doesn’t work, give me a call. Matchmakers can be just as good as Cupid…plus we take care of all the details and logistics…even Cupid doesn’t do that!

Happy Valentines!

Read More

Matchmaking: Canada versus China

As a professional matchmaker, you can imagine my surprise when I saw the Globe & Mail feature a front page story today titled “THE MATCHMAKER OF LOWER QIANTAN” (Jan 16, 2013).  Was this the face of a new competitor entering the Canadian market?

No. But it was an incredibly interesting article about the challenges in meeting a mate in modern China, where men outnumber women 118 to 100. It’s part of the China Diaries, a series of articles providing insight into life in the world’s most populated nation.

The article, written by Mark MacKinnon, focuses in on life in the remote area of Lower Qiantan. This is a small village of 700 in the remote Mountains of Hunan Province. There are 80 single men with no match in sight! Across China, a severe shortage of women make it hard and expensive to find a wife. How different than here in Canada where the ranks of successful professional women find their world devoid of eligible men!

The 98 year old local matchmaker, Long Hongxiang, stands just over 3 feet tall, and has arranged the vast majority of marriages over the last 80 years that she has practiced her trade. In the pre-revolutionary days, she would set up matches at the front gates of homes with eligible females. The betrothed would not even meet until the wedding. Love was something you worked on afterwards. Divorce…unheard of. Today, the vast shortage of women mean that the families of the single men must offer a vast dowry in order to have their offer of marriage even considered.

Well folks, dating might seem challenging here in Canada, but  its mostly all fun in comparison.  I can honestly say I have never ben asked to negotiate a dowry! And in our service…yes, you get to meet face to face! I do hear many single women, particularly hose over 40, say that there are just no single men. But the facts don’t really support this. The Canadian population is fairly evenly split by sex until age 70+, when we begin to see the impact of women outliving their male counterparts.

So why does this perception exist? I think it traces to the fact that many women become very specific when they look for a mate, and this process narrows the field down prematurely. One of my most interesting observations is that when I get the chance to meet a couple who have been married 10+ years, I find that in many cases, the mate that they selected and are very happy with, would not have fit their ’list’. But for some fortuitous reason, Fate brought them together. And Fate was correct.

So here’s my suggestion for Canadian Singles in 2013. For the men, be happy you face even odds here in Canada. You won’t need to ask your family to raise a dowry for find a woman! Just be yourself, and take some time to connect, and you should be fine.

And for women…maybe its time to open up your ‘list’. Don’t focus on being overly specific. Take the time to get to know someone who seems to share the same values and goals. And you may find Fate is on your side.

And speaking of Fate…I must say I like the ancient Chinese belief that every marriage you arrange adds 3 years to the matchmakers life!

Read More