Wednesday, 24 September 2014

The "Fizzle" of Modern Dating

According to an article on Thought, modern dates start with a text, IM or email before progressing to the "meeting" stage. Then, technology connections continue right up until the date. The big event happens. Dinner is consumed. Exchange of pleasantries or cheek pecks at the end of the night. Then a few texts the next day or two.

And then the "fizzle" happens.  This occurs "when one or both parties slowly begin to respond less and less to the other’s texts. Sometimes the feeling is mutual. Sometimes one person is interested and the other is clearly not. It continues to a point where the texting just stops. And just like that, it is over."

The fizzle avoids the "talk" where you tell the person that you aren't interested or that there isn't much chemistry between you. It's like the slow decline that transitions the relationship from "can't wait to meet you" to no longer talking.

While it sidesteps the confrontation, there is still a bit of rejection and awkwardness. The other party is checking their phone to see if you have texted and asking friends to send a text just to make sure their handheld technology is working as it should.

The fizzle and its frustrations can be handled directly by using a bit of old school etiquette. If at the end of the date you don't see this going any where, don't make false promises about what comes next. Be honest. Tell them what you enjoyed about meeting them and let them know that you don't feel the chemistry.

If you are interested but caught in the "fizzle" stage, drop your date one follow-up email or text. If you don't get a response, cut your emotional ties right away. Don't dwell on what may have gone wrong or assume you know why the other person has disappeared from your inbox. There are other people out there waiting in the wings to meet you.

If it ends with the fizzle or with face-to-face conversation, don't sweat it. There are tons of other singles out there. Shake it off and get back into the dating pool.

In the end, it comes down to treating the other person with respect and kindness. Be honest and treat them as you would want to be treated.