Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Clear the Self-Doubt Dating Hurdles - Trust Yourself More

Whether it is the time you turned down a promotion because you didn't think you could do it or started biting your nails again because you believed you lacked the discipline to kick the handy habit, we've all been plagued by self-doubt.

Self-doubt is the little voice that leads you to believe you can't, shouldn't try or that you will without a doubt fail. It's the voice that says what you have to offer won't be perfect, that someone won't instantly love you and that everything you do is subject for judgement.

According to an article on regarding overcoming self-doubt, "failure, not being perfect, mistakes, not having people agree with me, not being completely accepted: these are not negative things. They’re positive."

Wait . . .rejection positive? Exposure to rejection helps us to see things beyond our immediate world. Rejection doesn't mean there is something wrong with you -- it just means your personality traits or values aren't in league with someone elses. It means you are unique and that you don't have to fit within the "norm" to find someone who loves you.

By seeing rejection as maybe more of a "non-compatible" sign, we can get over the fear and self-doubt of dating. Embrace meeting someone and seeing the world through their unique perspective as a learning experience and not one of judgment.

The article by Leo Babauta suggests that with practice, we can start to jump over the self-doubt hurdles that hold us back. He also believes we should:

  • Push past our discomfort and find healthy ways to deal with it
  • Learn to trust yourself more (you're better, smarter and stronger than you believe)
  • Go into situations not knowing the outcome - be okay with that
  • Learn, fail, repeat

Dating is about getting to know someone a bit better. The true benefit of dating is that you also get to know yourself better.