What Can Warm Your Heart This Fall

So Toronto...it seems like our Indian Summer has just about come to an end. And for many, the darker days of Fall are occupied closing up the cottage, putting away the summer lawn furniture. Part of life, but maybe not our fav moments. Its a time of year associated with a loss of energy and positivity. But if you are single...this can be the kiss of death. Everything can look dark...even your dating prospects. Fortunately, it does not have to be this way. Sometimes all you really need is a slight shift in how you look at life to experience significant improvement in your dating life, especially if your goal is making it past your first dates.

There is a widespread belief that energy flows where ever your attention goes. Similarly, attraction goes wherever positive energy flows. Think about it. If your attention is focused on what you do well and the things that make you happy, then you will be sure to attract someone with a similar disposition. Conversely, if your attention is focused on everything that is wrong with you, the people you end up dating, or the perhaps even the world itself, then you’re pretty much going to reap what you sow.

Your mindset alone can really dictate your dating experiences for the better for the worse. It’s the #1 factor you have 100% control over that can improve your dating life significantly. So I have come up with a few simple tips designed to help you experience a change in mindset for an improved dating life.

1. Choose to see the good in people.

Matchmakers and dating specialists alike have talked to and met with dozens of professional singles. It can sometimes be rather disturbing to hear how jaded people have become over their dating prospects. Stop obsessing over the mental checklist in your head and start focusing on all the things your date is doing right, regardless if you are attracted to them or not. Be sure to acknowledge that this person may not be for you, but appreciate their more admirable qualities and hope to find those same qualities in someone with whom you feel a stronger attraction for.

2. Accept that people aren't perfect.

No one is perfect--Not you nor your date, and certainly not your proverbial prince or princess. When singles adhere to a checklist of criteria, they tend to lose sight of what’s really matters the most. How does this person make you feel when you are around him or her? How do you make that person feel when he or she is around you?

Everyone has their quirks, but if you wanted to be treated the way you want to be treated, some quirks are worth all the love in the world while other quirks are really just red flags. Know the difference and draw your boundaries appropriately.

3. Infect people with your smile.

It’s a well known fact that people who wear a smile on their face are typically rated as more attractive than people who rarely sport a smile. While this may mostly be true among women, the opposite appears to be true among men. In fact, researchers at the University of British Columbia discovered that brooding men were found more attractive by women than happy, men. Go figure - maybe its related to the rain!

But guys, that doesn't mean you should start walking around with scornful faces. If you happen to see a woman you’re attracted to, don’t be afraid to at least flash her that sexy smirk of yours, especially if you hope to start a conversation with her. Plus, it’s let’s a woman know you’re still interested when she feels like she can make you smile.

And speaking of looking on the bright side, while it may be damp and cold...it sure makes cuddling up in front of a warm and inviting fire with a hot mocha seem like the perfect end to a great date!

Read More

Featured Single: CEO Seeks High-Caliber Man to Round Out Life

It's Just Lunch Toronto is looking for a match for a a beautiful CEO of a successful company. She's educated, sophisticated and enjoys the finer things in life such as theatre and the opera.  She's comfortable at home in the country and in the city but has a fondness for Paris. She's has a big heart and is a loving mother.

She is interested in meeting a high-caliber man (45-58) who will fit into her lifestyle and circle of friends.

If you are seeking a serious relationship  and would be interested in meeting this amazing woman, please forward a short description of yourself and current photo to date@ijlelite.ca.

If you are selected you will be invited to the It's Just Lunch Toronto for a personal and confidential interview with one of our Toronto matchmakers. No charge to you as fees for this search have been paid for by our client. http://www.ijlelite.ca/

Read More

Dating Advice from the 1930s

Recently, a 1938 guide to dating for single women appeared online. “Careless women never appeal to gentleman. Don’t talk while dancing, for when a man dances, he wants to dance,” advises the author.  In another statement, ladies were counseled, “Don’t tug at your girdle,” and “Men don’t like girls who borrow their handkerchief and smudge them with lipstick.”

Eye-opening? As long as men and women have co-mingled, there have been strong ideas on the do’s and don’ts of dating. Are yesteryear’s words to the wise still applicable in the here and now? Have we evolved?

Yes and no. Girdles and kerchiefs are clearly things of the past, but much more has changed since the retro era of the 30’s: defined gender roles have since dissolved, conventions loosened, and technology has altered the way that we relate and communicate with each other. Men and women, more or less, stand on equal ground on just about every front: professional, political, and personal, and increased mobility means that our populations are more diverse and multicultural than ever.

That said, no longer bound by hard and fast rules, the modern single has a tricky scene to navigate. Misunderstandings are more likely to abound. Despite our contemporary lifestyles, many of us still have the ultimate goal of achieving and maintaining a solid, traditional relationship.  How to strike a balance between the ever-evolving day to day with old-fashioned values?

The crux of our advice at It’s Just Lunch, focuses on human relations, regardless of gender.  What message are you sending when you’re making  (or avoiding) eye contact? What makes a good first impression? How do you set the scene for romance?  Whatever the era, there are some universal, common-sense rules to abide by. “Don’t drink too much,” advises the 1938 guide.  “Greet your date with a smile.” Though our daily lifestyles have evolved, courtesy and friendliness never change.

Read More