Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Under Pressure: Why Singles Settle For "Not the One"

One of the most common dating mistakes singles make is putting too much pressure on themselves.

You're on a date.The conversation has been stilted. There was plenty of awkward silence. You don't necessarily feel the chemistry. There's nothing wrong with the other person but you can't shake the lukewarm feeling.

In fact, you had a bit more excitement on the last job interview. At least the other person asked you a question or two. Listened to your responses.

While it wasn't the date of your dreams, it's the only one you have been on in awhile. Since you weren't completely bored to tears, you accept their proposal for a second date.


Pressure. This happens a lot with people who don't have a lot of connection to other singles or those who are tiring of the dating scene and just want it done. They meet someone and think, "I've got to make this work. It could be six months before I find someone else even remotely interesting. I want to be off the market."

It's kind of like the seller who reduces the price on their home to get rid of it at a loss. Just like with the seller, the market will eventually change for you.

The key here is that you don't "settle" for "not the one" but take steps to change the market. Tell your friends, family that you are looking for someone. Widen your net. Seek opportunities to meet new people at classes, gallery openings or at film screenings.

For those who find the process a bit daunting, consider hiring a matchmaker to make the process a bit easier. They have plenty of singles in their database and you can relax, take the pressure of making something work.

Want to date without the pressure? Contact us at itsjustlunchtoronto.com or by phone at 1-416-703-3900.