Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Think Outside the Dating Box

You're a different person than you were during your last relationship.  Your dating preferences may have evolved as well.  The love of your life may be out there, but in a somewhat different form than what you previously imagined.  

One way to step outside of the dating box is to mentally update who you've become since your last round of dating.   Here are a few things to consider:
  • Why are you dating again? Are you looking for a long-term relationship or just testing the waters?
  • What do you have to offer that may be different from the last time you were dating?
  • Are there things you want to do differently?  
  • What do you hope to gain from meeting new people?
Once you have become current with yourself, it is time to look at what you want from a potential mate. There are several reasons to rule people out.  However, not everything you think is important is a deal breaker. 

Here's a way to test how strongly you feel about an issue in terms of your next relationship.  Ask yourself this:

If I met someone and I was attracted to them, and they made me feel truly loved -- would it matter that they were _____? (Fill in the blank with each of your parameters for ruling people out. 

You might be thinking, "Okay, but I could never be attracted to someone who was ______." 

That may be true.  But maybe not.

Some of the things you value the most may not be as important to you as it is to be truly loved. Perhaps the man of your dreams doesn't need to love animals as much as you.  Maybe she doesn't need to be willing to cook.  Maybe the two of you don't need to share identical spiritual beliefs and just respecting each other's point of view is enough. 

On the other hand, if you have a child who lives with you, it is important that you date someone who likes kids.  

Honor your deal-breakers, but test to see if they really are hard and fast rules. 

By staying open to a wider variety of people, you will open the door to date more.   Over and over again, the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch see that our clients that are willing to do this have the most matches, the best time and the greatest dating success.